Steven Helmer Publications

  I went to the store early this morning, before it got crowded with people who were stocking up before the winter weather hits later. Since I was there, I figured I'd pick up something easy for breakfast. I saw Dutch Farms Breakfast Bowls for less than $3 each and, figuring it was a low enough price, decided to give the Meat Lovers variety a try. Overall, I have to say it was OK. To be honest, it wasn't anything overly special, at least when compared to the other breakfast bowls that are out there. However, that was one of the things that I thought was a bonus because while it wasn't anything that stood out, it also wasn't anything that was noticeably lower quality either. I have had that with other cheaper brands in the past, buying one that promised plenty of protein from meat and egg only to be mostly potatoes. That wasn't a problem with this bowl, which had plenty of the two.  Taste wise, I thought it also was good. The breakfast sausage wasn't spicy but ha...

After a couple weeks' worth of binge watching, we are finally caught up on all four seasons of The Traitors. Here are my thoughts about this past season: I still am not a fan of the contestants all being celebrities.  There are two reasons for this. One of them is there are times when it seems a bit too scripted - whether it's the eloquent speeches they give when they are banished (or believe they are going to be murdered) or their personalities seem a bit character-like, especially Michael Rapaport, who felt more like he was auditioning for a movie role than competing in a contest. The biggest part of it though is how familiarity with the various contestants makes some of the Traitor reveals way too easy. Real Housewives alum Lisa Rinna, for example, was outed because she wasn't acting "housewife enough" which, in turn, led to Candiace Dillard Bassett being banished the next night. Having random people with maybe a small mix of celebrities would correct this. I l...

Synopsis: The Enterprise discovers a human outpost has been completely obliterated and, after a short fight with the lizard-like Gorn, pursue the alien ship in an attempt to destroy it. However, another alien race, the Metrons, intervene by disabling both ships and sending both Kirk (William Shatner) and the Gorn captain to a deserted planet so they can fight each other in hand-to-hand combat. My thoughts:  While there are some who insist James Kirk ( William Shatner ) is a great captain, this episode seems to contradict that. His decision to pursue the Gorn ship even though he was outgunned and the end result would likely cost him the Enterprise and the lives of his crew. There is brave and then there's just stupid. And yes, I know he was trying to delay an invasion. They were, however, deep into space, giving them time for a strategic retreat and an opportunity to come up with a better game plan. It was probably Shatner's famous overacting, but Kirk even seemed a bit insan...

Synopsis: After regularly losing to professional wrestling in the ratings, television executive Tom Brell creates a no-holds-barred tough guy competition. When his attempts to court the heavyweight champion, Rip Thomas fail, Brell resorts to extreme measures to force Rip to face his tough guy champion, Zeus and ultimately succeeds when Rip's younger brother, Randy is injured while attempting to fight Zeus himself. Who's in it? The movie stars Hulk Hogan , Kurt Fuller , Tom Lister Jr., Joan Severance and Mark Pellegrino. Review: I first/last watched No Holds Barred when I was a teenager and, while I couldn't remember a whole lot about the film, I did remember a lot of the promotional things that went with it, including Hulk Hogan facing Zeus (Lister) in a WWF (now WWE) tag team match. As an adult, those memories seem a bit goofy today. However, after re-watching the movie this morning, I honestly thought it was better than i was expecting. Hogan is, without a doubt, the ...

 What is this crap Falling from the sky? It was almost 70 on Monday Now I'm being pelted with white flakes and need a reason why. Isn't Old Man Winter  Content with taking an early break? Spring is just days away And I have fun plans at stake. Look, this crap may have been majestic Earlier in the winter. Seeing it now, with the grass already turning green Is as painful as a jagged splinter. I'm not saying I wasn't expecting it There's a reason why my shovel and blower are still at the ready. But it doesn't mean this crap needs to fall down And, from the looks of it, it's falling down steady. It's the kind of thing that has me craving a warmer climate. Before long, I might even pull out a map. In the meantime, however, What is this crap? ______________________________________________________________________ If you liked this, check out one of my poetry books:

Synopsis: Six years after a performance at a child's birthday party leaves him tormented by the kids and ultimately dead, Stitches the Clown returns from the grave to seek his revenge. Who's in it? The movie stars Ross Noble, Tommy Knight, Roisin Barrons, Gemma-Leah Devereux and Tommy Cullen. Review: I'm not exactly sure what compelled me to watch the movie Stitches this morning. While I'm not opposed to watching a movie that features an undead killer clown, I'm always more than a little skeptical because films like that almost always end up being silly rather than scary. However, it was readily available, and I didn't want to spend a lot of time choosing an alternative, so I gave it a shot. In the end, it was better than I was expecting but also nothing I'd consider anywhere close to being a great film. As I had suspected and mentioned, the movie did end up falling more into the silly category than scary. There was plenty of blood and gore but some of t...