Steven Helmer Publications

Synopsis: Three college girlfriends have an all-girl getaway at a remote cabin. Shortly after their boyfriends arrive unexpectedly, their fun weekend turns to terror as they are surrounded by a family of beavers that have been turned into man-eating zombies by a barrel of toxic waste. With no way to call for help and one of their group in need of a hospital, they must find a way to escape the animals. You can read my review here:  https://wizzley.com/movie-review-zombeavers-2014/

Synopsis: Four friends decide to go camping in the Australian wilderness and end up exploring a rural farm that was the scene of a series of brutal murders 30 years earlier. There is just one problem. Charlie, the deformed son of the two murderers who were killed by the local authorities, still lives on the property. You can read my review here:  https://wizzley.com/movie-review-charlie-s-farm-2014/

Synopsis: Twenty years after her brother, Michael Myers, stalked her and killed her friends, Laurie Strode has faked her death, changed her name and is working as a headmistress at an exclusive private boarding school in California. Even though she has not seen her brother in 20 years and he is believed to be dead, she still continues to live in fear, especially on Halloween night. This year, however, her fears are justified when he returns to stalk both her and her 17-year-old son. Who's in it? The movie stars Jamie Lee Curtis , Chris Durand , Josh Hartnett , Michelle Williams and LL Cool J . Review: I lost interested in the Halloween movies around the 5th installment and, as a result of that, never got around to watching this film in the 20 years it has been released. However, my wife and I came across it last night and, since we actually had some time before bed, decided to finally watch it. As it turns out, I thought it was one of the better films from the franchise....

Synopsis: Artist Amyas Crale is poisoned and his wife, Caroline, commits suicide after she is convicted of the crime and incarcerated. Sixteen years later, their daughter, Carla, believing her mother was wrongfully convicted, asks Hercule Poirot to re-open the case. Poirot agrees to take the case and, since all physical evidence has been erased by time, focuses on the witnesses who were there the day Amyas died. Review: I picked up this book at our local library a few weeks ago and, despite not having as much free time for reading as I would prefer, managed to finish it late last week. Overall, I have to say this one made my list of favorite Hercule Poirot novels, mostly because the sixteen-year time lapse between the murder and his investigation made this case a little more challenging than some of the others he's been involved with. He had to solve the case based solely on people's memories of the crime with no access to the crime scene or physical evidence. On to...

Just some photos from when I was at the park yesterday, waiting for my daughter to get her homework photos done:

My oldest daughter had to get landscape photos for her graphic arts class so I took her out to the park yesterday morning. While there, I went for a walk with my own camera and came across this leaf. The entire tree was bare except for this leaf that kept hanging on so I figured I would snap a photo of it. I guess I'm not the only one who isn't looking forward to winter.

Synopsis: Still grieving the loss of his daughter, a once-promising author now travels around the country, staying in supposedly haunted hotels and writing about his experiences. When an anonymous post card warns him about room 1408 at a luxury hotel in New York, he decides to spend the night there, despite the room's long history of dying guests and the hotel manager's attempts to convince him otherwise. Who's in it? The movie stars John Cusack , Samuel L. Jackson , Tony Shalhoub , Mary McCormack and Kate Walsh . Synopsis: My wife and I came across this movie about a week ago but, not having time to watch it, decided to save it for another day. We wound up doing that last night and I have to say I was very impressed with it. I will confess, when we started watching this movie, I did have some doubts about it. I've seen plenty of haunted room/haunted house films over the years and they tend to follow the same predictable format. This one, however, really su...

Synopsis : Born a couple doors over from Jesus on the original Christmas Day, Brian of Nazareth has lived an otherwise uneventful life. When he joins an anti-Roman resistance group in an effort to impress a woman, he becomes a wanted criminal and, in an attempt to escape capture, is accidentally mistaken for the Messiah. Who's in it? The movie stars John Cleese , Graham Chapman , Terry Gilliam , Eric Idle and Carol Cleveland. Review: I have to confess, as much as I like classic films, I think the only Monty Python film I had ever seen prior to yesterday was Monty Python and the Holy Grail . In fact, the only reason I wound up watching this film was I had the afternoon off, wasn't feeling the greatest (bad cold) and ended up crashing on the couch for a while. As a result of that, I honestly wasn't really sure what to expect from this movie. Unfortunately, after seeing it for the first time, I have to be honest and say I was a bit underwhelmed. I think my bigges...

One of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to movies is remakes. Overall, I don’t consider myself a fan because, to me, remaking a classic film is just being lazy, especially when there is very little effort to add any sort of original content to the new version. This being said, I do make an exception for horror films. This is because, even though there are some that haven’t been overly impressive (like A Nightmare on Elm Street ), there have been plenty that were definitely an improvement over the original (such as House of Wax ). In fact, there are three classic horror movies in particular that I really believe should be rebooted, either because they would be improved by better special effects or could be a much better movie with a little bit of revision. You can read the rest of this story here:  https://wizzley.com/three-classic-horror-movies-that-need-remakes1/

Synopsis: Humanity faces enslavement from a group of hostile aliens that invade in flying saucers and possess high-tech weapons. Earth's only hope is for a scientist to find a way to fight back before they begin their invasion. However, he is hindered by technological limitations and a firm 56-day time limit before the world's leaders are expected to surrender. You can read my review here:  https://wizzley.com/movie-review-earth-versus-the-flying-saucers-1956/

Not. Even. One. Number. Guess I should tear up the speech I was going to give when I quit my job.

Synopsis: Eight college friends spend the night in a "haunted rental" infamous for a series of gruesome deaths years earlier. Much like the group that died in the house, the friends begin to play a game of Truth or Dare. It is all in good fun until an evil presence takes over the game and forces them to complete a series of violent tasks in order to save their lives. Who's in it? The movie stars Cassandra Scerbo , Brytni Sarpi , Mason Dye , Ricardo Hoyos and Alexxis Lemire. Review: My oldest daughter had an all-day skating competition yesterday and, by the time we were done, we were all pretty exhausted (she skated, but her mother and I had to volunteer and help get her ready for it). So, mostly because we wanted to make sure we could get to bed sooner, we once again decided to save the new episodes of Doctor Who and The Walking Dead for another day and put on this movie instead. To be honest, based on the description, I had some lowered expectations about ...

Synopsis: Nerdy high school student Arnold Cunningham purchases a rundown 1958 Plymouth Fury and, as he begins fixing up the vehicle, quickly becomes obsessed with his car. The obsession is mutual as the car, Christine, begins to show it has a mind of its own and a violent jealous streak when it comes to her owner. You can read my review here:  https://wizzley.com/movie-review-christine-1983-1/

Synopsis: When Mayberry learns one of their own may be a direct descendant of a Revolutionary War hero, the town is excited by the news. But, when the descendant turns out to be the town drunk, Otis Campbell ( Hal Smith ), Mayor Pike ( Dick Elliott ) wants Andy ( Andy Griffith ) to arrange for someone else to accept the plaque on Otis' behalf so Mayberry doesn't suffer an embarrassment. Review: I had planned on mowing the lawn yesterday afternoon. But, since it was raining, I wound up doing my laundry instead. While waiting to switch it over from the washer to the dryer, I put this episode on. Overall, I thought it was a decent one. The main story, to be honest, was a little predictable. Despite Barney ( Don Knotts ) thinking he was the descendant, I wasn't really surprised when it ended up being Otis, mostly because he seemed like the most ridiculous choice. And, when Mayor Pike insisted Andy find someone to pretend to be Otis, I figured he wouldn't follow thr...

I had originally planned on making chili in the slow cooker yesterday. But, I realized I didn't have enough time at lunch to do everything I needed to do and, calling an audible, wound up picking up a ham steak instead. I needed something to go with that and, after some consideration, picked up a bag of these sweet potatoes. I'm actually not a big sweet potato fan. However, my wife loves them so, on occasion at least, I'll pick some up for us. The thing I found I liked about this particular brand, however, was the fact I could make them, in the microwave, without taking them out of the bag. And, since they were on sale, I thought that convenience would make them worth the money. I did wind up making these last night as planned and, cooking wise, it was as easy as I anticipated. It took about 8 minutes in our microwave and the potatoes were ready to be eaten (the ham steak was done by then too). As far as taste goes, as I said, I'm not a big sweet potato fan so...

Synopsis: A new doctor ( George Nader ) comes to Mayberry and, because he is spending so much time with Ellie ( Elinor Donahue ), Barney ( Don Knotts ) and Aunt Bee ( Frances Bavier ) manage to convince Andy ( Andy Griffith ) he is in danger of losing her to another man. Review: After 15 years of marriage, my wife and I have an unspoken rule - don't air our dirty laundry. This is because we know there will be plenty of people who will try to give us unwanted advice and the loudest of that advice will likely come from people who are single. That rule came to mind when watching this episode at lunch yesterday. For everything there is to like about Sheriff Andy Taylor, there are plenty of negative things that offset that. And, one of those things is he tends to take bad advice from people who really aren't qualified to give it in the first place. In this case, it was both Barney and Aunt Bee, both of them single and both making things out to be much, much worse than they...

Synopsis: Three months after getting married and moving to London with her new husband, American Kit Preston is walking home in a thick fog when an unseen man threatens to kill her. At first, she is convinced it is just a sick prank. But, the man begins to make obscene phone calls to her with promises she'll be dead by the end of the month. As the calls begin to take their toll, she finds nobody around her believes her because they think she is just making the whole thing up so her workaholic husband will pay attention to her. Who's in it? The movie stars Doris Day , Rex Harrison , John Gavin , Myrna Loy and Natasha Parry . Review: I've reached that time of the year when I have an excessive amount of vacation time that needs to be used by the end of the year and, to burn it off, I begin working some half days. I did this yesterday and, after mowing the front yard, wound up watching this movie while waiting to pick up my oldest daughter after school. Overall, I ha...

Synopsis: Rick's ( Andrew Lincoln ) plan to re-build a bridge is in full motion but, while progress is being made, tensions predictably rise between the Saviors and the rest of the survivors, especially since many of the Saviors seem to be abandoning the project. Things come to a head when a botched attempt to lure a walker herd away from the camp results in them overrunning some of the workers. Review: As I mentioned yesterday, my wife and I skipped watching this episode Sunday night so we could watch a movie instead. But (partly because I forgot the Packers were playing on Monday Night Football), we got caught up on it yesterday evening. Overall, I did find I liked this episode. There's still a little too much talk/drama on the series, especially between Rick and Daryl ( Norman Reedus ), who really just need to duke it out for a few rounds instead of shunning each other like a couple teenaged girls. But, there was also just enough action, especially after the walkers...

Synopsis: After learning he and his pregnant girlfriend, Samantha, are going to have a boy, Will Younger flies from Seattle to Chicago to ask her father for permission to marry her. His visit does not go well and, the next morning, an unknown event knocks out power and cell phone service for the entire country. As society begins to disintegrate around them, Will and Samantha's father, Tom, begin a 2000-mile drive from Chicago to Seattle with no knowledge of what happened or if she is even still alive. Who's in it? The movie stars Theo James , Forest Whitaker , Kat Graham , Nicole Ari Parker and Grace Dove. Review: There were brand new episodes of Doctor Who and The Walking Dead on television last night. But, I was kind of in the mood for another movie and wound up scrolling through our choices on Netflix. My wife and I both thought this one looked interesting and decided to give it a chance. Unfortunately, it wasn't as good as I was hoping it would. OK, actual...

Synopsis: In 1901, Edith Cushing, a budding author with the ability to see ghosts, falls in love with a charming but poor English baronet, Thomas Sharpe, who has come to America seeking financing for his family's clay mine. After her father is murdered, Edith marries Thomas and moves into his rundown family estate with him and his sister, Lucille. When Edith encounters the spirit of their dead mother, notices other clues around the house and grows increasingly ill, she begins to suspect her relationship with Thomas isn't what she thought it was. Who's in it? The movie stars Mia Wasikowska , Jessica Chastain , Tom Hiddleston , Jim Beaver and Charlie Hunnam . Review: I had this movie as a "maybe" on my Netflix DVD list and was kind of surprised when I received it in the mail despite the fact there were quite a few movies ahead of it in my queue. While the movie sounded intriguing, I wasn't overly sure about it. And, as a result of that, I did have som...

Synopsis: Ever since he first saw her in his dreams, musician Scott Pilgrim has been fascinated with Ramona Flowers and, even though he already has a girlfriend, does everything he can to date her. When she finally agrees and they become a couple, he learns Ramona comes with some baggage. She has seven evil exes who have teamed together to keep her from being happy and, if he wants to continue to date her, Scott must fight each of them to the death. Who's in it? The movie stars Michael Cera , Mary Elizabeth Winstead , Jason Schwartzman , Kieran Culkin , Anna Kendrick and Ellen Wong . Review: I watched this movie a long time ago and, even though I honestly didn't remember too many details about it, I did remember liking it. So, when I saw it on Netflix again, I decided to give it another try. As I did remember from my earlier viewing, this is a very strange movie. But, at the same time, it was still enjoyable to watch. I'll start out by saying this movie...

Synopsis: When Murphy ( Keith Allan ) arrives on the farm while searching for her, Warren ( Kellita Smith ) chooses to leave Cooper ( Mario Van Peebles ) and go to Newmerica. In Newmerica, long-time friends are reunited but tensions begin to flare up ahead of a vote for a new constitution. Review: My wife and I once again made a "date" to watch this season 5 episode last night, while the kids were reading and getting ready for bed. After watching it, my opinion of it was a bit mixed. I'll start out by saying I didn't hate this episode. In fact, this show and The Walking Dead both (by coincidence?) have plots that involve the survivors discussing a new constitution (or, in the case of The Walking Dead , a charter). Of the two, I am liking this show's version of that story better, mostly because there seems to be a little more action. I am also still intrigued by the introduction of zombies that are able to talk and reason. As this episode demonstrated, ...

Synopsis: Aunt Bee ( Frances Bavier ) leaves town for a few days and, since Andy ( Andy Griffith ) and Opie ( Ron Howard ) are slobs, is convinced the house will be a disaster when she returns. Andy disagrees with her but Aunt Bee's prediction proves to be correct. Will he and Opie be able to get the house clean before she returns? Review: When I first came across this episode while home at lunch yesterday, I almost skipped it. This is because, if I had a nickel for every television sitcom that "proved" men weren't as good at keeping the house running as women, I probably would have a lot of nickels. However, I realized I'm not a television historian and, for all I knew, this could be the first show to use that plot. So, I wound up watching it anyway and was pleasantly surprised. The thing that really stood out for me when it came to this episode is it wasn't anywhere near as predictable as I thought it was going to be. Sure, Andy and Opie proved to ...

I was going through the news feed this morning and saw one of our Wisconsin high schools is choosing not to show the play To Kill a Mockingbird our of concerns of the use of a racial slur. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/shorewood-cancels-to-kill-a-mockingbird-over-racial-concerns/ar-BBOi68c This decision apparently was the result of potential protests over the play and, for that reason, I don't really blame the school district itself. After all, it's first priority is to keep kids safe and protests have the potential for violence. But, I am very disappointed in the overall community reaction. I know there are those who disagree with me. However, I honestly believe racism is still a problem in this country because we, as a society, are so afraid of offending people, we are reluctant to have real conversations that will bring around real change. In this case, it is a play that tackles racism head-on but won't be shown because it (for the sake of realism) uses a racia...

Synopsis: When Andy ( Andy Griffith ) and Barney ( Don Knotts ) once again are asked to break up a fight between Fred Boone ( Jesse White ) and his wife, Jennie ( Claudia Bryar ), he requires them to take daily lessons so they learn to be nicer to each other. His plan works. However, instead of fighting with each other, Fred and Jennie begin taking their anger out on other people. Review: What can I say, once I start watching a classic show again, I tend to get hooked on it for a while. And, that's the reason I wound up watching another episode of this series while home at lunch today, picking this one almost completely at random. After seeing this episode, my opinion of it was honestly a little mixed. To be fair, there were some funny moments in this episode. But, at the same time, this still could be considered domestic violence. The idea of a husband and wife constantly fighting, insulting and even throwing things at each other as a way of showing they cared probabl...

Synopsis: Andy ( Andy Griffith ) and Barney ( Don Knotts ) successfully shut down two moonshining operations as a result of tips given to them by the Morrison sisters ( Gladys Hurlbut and Charity Grace ). What they don't know is the Morrison sisters are also running their own still and are trying to eliminate the competition. Review: Our cat, Echo , was being a bit of a pest this morning and, as a result of that, I wound up getting up about 20 minutes earlier than I normally would. Since everyone in the house was still asleep and I had nearly 40 minutes before I had to worry about getting my oldest daughter out the door for school, I decided to kill time by watching another episode of The Andy Griffith Show . I remembered seeing this episode before and, because of that, did consider skipping ahead to a different one. But, I wound up watching it anyway and, as it turns out, it was still pretty entertaining. I think the thing I liked best about this episode was the way th...

Synopsis: To add something different to the annual Founder's Day celebration, Mayberry decides to hold a beauty contest with Andy ( Andy Griffith ) as the judge. He immediately regrets accepting the position as everyone in town begins pestering him to select their daughter, niece, etc. and, on top of it, a misunderstanding about his new job leads to a fight with his girlfriend, Ellie ( Elinor Donahue ). Review: I was running a little bit behind today at lunch but had enough time to watch a short TV episode while eating. Since it had been a while since I've watched this show and it happened to be on Netflix (no commercials), I decided to put it on. This ended up being the episode I watched. On the surface, there are quite a few things that should have made me not enjoy this episode. For one, the ending (and the woman he ends up choosing) wound up being a little predictable. Not to mention the whole beauty pageant thing is becoming a little dated. Not to mention, Andy ha...

It's been a couple days since the new season premiere , featuring Jodie Whittaker as the first female Doctor. And, as I said before, I liked the episode. But, two days later, there is something from that episode that really is bugging me. Early on in the episode, when we are introduced to Graham ( Bradley Walsh ) and Whittaker's Doctor on the train, there was a discussion about aliens and how Graham and others didn't believe in them. How the heck is that even possible at this point in the series? Is there no news or internet in England? The giant spaceship over London. The Cybermen invasion. The WHOLE FREAKING PLANET being moved to a whole different part of the universe. Yet there are still people who have doubts? Have the Men in Black been working overtime and erasing people's memories or something? At this point in the series, it should be "oh look, another alien invasion," not "what is that thing" or "aliens don't exist."

Synopsis: Eighteen months after defeating the Saviors, Rick Grimes ( Andrew Lincoln ) is working to create a peaceful relationship between the Hilltop, Alexandria and the Sanctuary. However, ongoing resentment from the war, his decision to keep Neegan ( Jeffrey Dean Morgan ) alive and the Sanctuary not able to grow crops on its own threaten to undermine his efforts. Review: While I haven't reached a point where I have completely given up on this series, I have, admittedly, grown less interested in it over the past couple of seasons. However,  with the war with the Saviors now over and two of the stars (Lincoln and Lauren Cohan ) reportedly on the way out, I am attempting to approach this season with a little more enthusiasm. This included making a "date" with my wife to watch the season premiere last night. However, I have to say the premiere put a bit of a damper on that enthusiasm. The opening scenes, which involved Rick and his crew collecting artifacts (which...

Synopsis: A newly-regenerated Doctor ( Jodie Whittaker ) struggles to remember her name and other details about who she is but, with an assist from some new companions, still helps save humans from a tooth-collecting alien hunter ( Samuel Oatley ). Review: The Green Bay Packers weren't doing so hot yesterday afternoon so, instead of watching the game, my wife, oldest daughter and I wound up tuning in to the global broadcast of this season 11 premiere. And, I have to say, overall, I was very impressed with what I saw. As I've mentioned in the past, I was excited to see a female version of the Doctor but also was curious in what sort of direction they would take the character. After watching last night's episode, I can honestly say I'm happy with how they are using Whittaker in this role. In many ways, she reminded me a bit of Matt Smith 's Doctor. She was quirky enough to be interesting and that quirkiness, in turn, disguised the fact she was still very in...

After what seemed like an eternity, it is about time. I'm interested to see Jodie Whittaker in the role of Doctor #13. Regardless of people's feelings about a female Doctor, the series was in need of a fresh actor in the role.  I just hope the writers don't make the same mistake they made with Peter Capaldi and settle on the new Doctor's personality right away. I thought Peter Capaldi was a bit wasted in his Doctor role because the writers couldn't figure out if they wanted him to be grumpy, funny or crazy. Either is fine. A combination of all three just didn't work for me.

Synopsis: Warren ( Kellita Smith ) survives the drone crash and recovers on a farm with a mysterious man named Cooper ( Mario Van Peebles ). Doc ( Russell Hodgkinson ) and the rest of the survivors make their way to Newmerica, where they learn about a new type of zombie. Review: After binge watching the first four seasons of this series on Netflix, it was admittedly difficult waiting months for a new episode. So, when it finally came back on TV last night, my wife and I made sure to keep our calendars clear. Sadly, after watching it, I have to say I wasn't that impressed with it. It wasn't that the episode itself was terrible. It's just, for a season premiere, it was kind of bland. Action scenes were kept to a minimum (though the zombies being ground up by farm equipment was kind of cool) and a good chunk of the episode was kind of predictable. This was especially true of Warren and Cooper. Not only did we see the romance coming from a mile away, my wife and I we...

Product Description : Frozen beef stew with prime rib, potatoes and vegetables and from the Sam's Choice brand. The stew is prepared using a slow cooker. I purchased this product for $9.68 while doing some other shopping at Wal-mart yesterday afternoon and wound up making it for an evening dinner for my wife and me. You can read the review here:  https://wizzley. com/review-of-sam-s-choice-slow-cooker-beef-stew/

Synopsis: Beautiful Arlena Marshall is the type of woman men would do anything for and a woman other women despise as a result. In fact, she has been described as being "evil." When Arlena is murdered at a secluded resort, Hercule Poirot is asked to help determine which of the guests despised her enough to strangle her. You can read the review here:  https://wizzley.com/book-review-evil-under-the-sun-1941/

My oldest daughter was telling me about her biology class and how they've been having discussions about aliens. As a result, I wound up asking her this question - "what makes you think we aren't aliens?" Here's my argument for this in a nutshell - When you introduce a plant or animal to an ecosystem it is not native to, it is frowned upon because it could quickly take over and cause harm to that ecosystem. This is referred to as introducing an invasive species. Ever since humans first appeared on Earth, they have, in a sense, been an invasive species. Mass extinctions have been the direct result of humans, as have deforestation and possibly even climate change (depending on which scientists you choose to listen to). Humans have no natural predators. This isn't uncommon in nature. But, normally, if there's an animal on top the food chain, it is in a specific region with a limited population. Humans are all over the planet and outnumber many of the a...

Product Description: Hot breakfast sandwich from the Kwik Trip Kitchen Cravings brand consisting of a beef patty, egg patty, bacon and American cheese on a hamburger bun. I purchased one of these sandwiches while at Kwik Trip this morning and wound up having it for breakfast before heading into the office You can read my review here:  https://wizzley.com/review-of-kwik-trip-kitchen-cravings-breakfast-burger-sandwich/

Product Description: Boxed meal kit with teriyaki sauce, rice, carrots and peas. The contents of the box are added to frozen chicken breast then baked in the oven for approximately 50 minutes. I purchased this dinner kit at one of our local grocery stores for $1.50. My wife wound up using it last night when she made dinner. You can read my review here:  https://wizzley.com/review-of-the-good-table-freezer-to-plate-teriyaki-rice-with-carrots-peas-and-sauce/

Synopsis: The Enterprise saves a planet by destroying an inbound asteroid and, a short time later, begins to experience a series of mechanical issues caused by the metal-eating microbes that had called the asteroid their home. Lwaxana Troi (Majel Barrett) arrives on board the Enterprise because she plans to get married. She causes her normal disruptions but, in particular, creates a rift between Worf (Michael Dorn) and his son, Alexander (Brian Bonsall). The review can be found here:  https://wizzley.com/star-trek-the-next-generation-episode-review-the-cost-of-living/

Synopsis: The Doctor (David Tennant) and Rose (Billie Piper) visit a hospital on New Earth and discover the cat-like nuns are able to cure every disease thanks to a research lab using artificially grown humans. To make matters worse, Cassandra (Zoe Wanamaker) is hiding in the hospital basement and takes possession of Rose's body. You can read my review here:  https://wizzley.com/doctor-who-episode-review-new-earth/