Steven Helmer Publications

Overall, I think I'm holding up well, despite all the social distancing restrictions that are in place. After all, I still can "escape" to my office (I'm the only one in it) and it's not as though we go to the bars or even out to eat on a weekly basis. But, I will admit, there are some things I do find I miss. Image courtesy of Gerd Altmann from Pixabay Casual Grocery Shopping - It's probably a little weird, but I love grocery shopping. I enjoy finding deals on meat, etc. and some of my most creative dinner ideas came while casually walking up and down the aisles. In fact, before Covid-19, it wasn't uncommon for me to make almost daily trips to the store before heading into the office. Now, my shopping trips are kept to a minimum, both in frequency and duration. I get what I need and leave. The Library - Our local library was one of the first things to close down because of the virus and I definitely miss it. I love to read and not having a wide...

I was supposed to tour a college campus with my oldest daughter today. But, then COVID-19 happened and here we are. I decided not to let it get me down though and, since the temps were almost warm enough, went for a walk at lunch with my camera. I didn't see a whole heck of a lot animal-wise and think I'm a little out of practice (and out of shape) but I did manage some photos.

Synopsis: Shy and traumatized following a boating accident that killed her family, Angela Baker reluctantly attends summer camp with her cousin, Ricky. She is quickly bullied by the other campers and some of the counselors. But, the camp has an even worse problem, there's a serial killer on the loose. Who's in it? The movie stars Felissa Rose , Jonathan Tiersten , Karen Fields , Katherine Kamhi and Christopher Collet. Review:  My wife and I both sort of remember seeing this movie when we were teenagers but neither of us remembered a whole lot about it. So, when I came across it on VUDU, I decided to watch it with her last night. Slasher movies like this are pretty much hit or miss. And, based on the premise, I was expecting this one to fall into that "miss" column. As it turns out, however, it was actually a pretty decent film. I think the thing that really impressed me about this movie was it wasn't quite as predictable as I thought it was going to b...

Synopsis: When Sierra moves from Colorado to Los Angeles, she quickly makes friends with her next door neighbor, Kaitlyn, and her BFF, Lexi. However, she quickly learns Lexi has a malicious side to her and, when one of Lexi's pranks results in the death of a classmate, finds herself in danger of being framed for murder. Who's in it? The movie stars Taylor Blackwell , Avery Kristen Pohl , Lauryn Speights , Skyler Seymour and Caia Coley . Review : I came across this movie while flipping channels a couple days ago and, thinking it sounded somewhat interesting, decided to record it. Since my wife and I couldn't find anything on TV tonight, we decided to watch it and, well, let's just say we kind of wished there was something else on TV. The premise itself wasn't too terrible, though I also wouldn't describe it as being overly unique either. It's just the execution was pretty bad, even for a made-for-TV film. First, my wife described it best when she...

To those of you buying out all the toilet paper, baby formula and other stuff. The world doesn't just center around you. There are plenty of other people around Who have needs too. I know things aren't great But that's not an excuse to offend. We'll get through this small crisis. You don't need to act like the world is about to end. The rules are simple, keep your distance, cover your coughs and wash your hands. Plus wipe down any surfaces, whether they are metal, marble or glass. And, most importantly, Don't be an a** Image courtesy of Gerd Altmann - Pixabay Think of this as a test. One that is standardized for all of society. An opportunity to show That being human really can be a thing of beauty. The best part about it is there is no need to study. The answers are spelled out for you so it should be easy to pass. In fact, there's really only one answer. Don't be an a**

Synopsis: After overcoming an abusive relationship and a drug problem, Anna is thrilled to be starting over in her own home with her daughter and new man. There's just one problem, the spirit of a deceased nun is determined to get Anna to take her place in purgatory and won't let her leave the house. Who's in it? The movie stars Lacy Hartselle , Rae Hunt , Cale Adcock , Brad Belemjian and Jonathan Everett. Review: My wife mistook this movie for another film when we were scrolling through horror flicks on VUDU and, at her recommendation, I wound up selecting it. Obviously, it wound up not being the movie we were expecting. But, I did think the film was surprisingly good. I don't know if I would describe the movie as being particularly scary. In fact, there were times in the film when I wondered if maybe the writers wanted it to be more of a comedy. But, the movie did wind up having some good things going for it. For one, I found I liked the mystery surroundi...

Synopsis: As a group of friends prepare to party at a remote cabin, the Earth is invaded by aliens looking to abduct humans by the thousands. Their only hope is a former astronaut turned recluse who has encountered the aliens before. Who's in it? The movie stars Wesley Snipes , RJ Mitte , Laura Bilgeri , Hannah Rose May and Niko Pepaj. Review: My wife and I weren't able to do a whole heck of a lot over our anniversary weekend, mostly because everything is closed because of COVID-19. So, looking for an escape from the horror movie going on outside, we opted for an alien invasion film. Overall, this turned out to be better than I was expecting. Actually, I thought the overall premise was pretty darn good. The aliens weren't just invading and abducting people, they arrived with the purpose of performing experiments on and upgrading humans (for motivations unknown). If nothing else, it was somewhat unique and a little intriguing. The movie also managed to have qui...

Synopsis: A scientist secretly transports a frozen woman infected with a zombie virus on a passenger plane to Paris. When the plane runs into turbulence, the woman is woken up and the virus quickly spreads. Who's in it? The movie stars David Chisum , Kristen Kerr, Richard Tyson , Erick Avari and Siena Goines. Review: With everything going on around us with this COVID-19 stuff, I figured it was as good of night as any to watch a zombie movie. And, when I came across this one on VUDU, I couldn't resist. Truthfully, I wasn't really sure what to expect from this movie and mostly wonder if it would turn out to be a terrible film. However, it wound up being a lot better than I thought it would be. For one, having a zombie film take place in such a confined space added a little extra suspense to the movie. There were very few places to hide and, unlike many other zombie films, it wasn't as though potential weapons were readily available. Adding to this was th...

I'm doing my best to socially distance myself so I spent part of my lunchtime going for a walk in the completely deserted park up the street. Unfortunately, it was too muddy to go too deep into the park and that wind was pretty darn cold so I had to cut my walk a bit short. But, I did manage to get some photos of geese while I was there.

It's not exactly my favorite film, mostly because I had a hard time believing Mark Wahlberg was a science teacher. But, with everything going on in the world right now, the movie just seems to be stuck in my head. For those of you who aren't familiar with the movie (SPOILER ALERT) the basic gist of the film is Mother Nature gets fed up with humans and the plants start releasing a toxin into the air, causing people to kill themselves. With the way this Covid-19 epidemic is growing, I couldn't help but make a loose comparison. What if Earth is starting to recognize humans as the parasites we are and is starting the process to thin the herd through mutated super germs? This could just be the beginning. Just some food for thought. If you're self-quarantined at the moment, maybe you should take the time to be a little nicer to nature. Plant some flowers for the bees, pick up some litter, walk instead of drive, etc. That way, if I'm right, maybe you'll be sp...

Synopsis: A series of short story mysteries featuring fictional detective Hercule Poirot . Mysteries include The Adventure of the Cheap Flat , The Adventure of the Egyptian Tomb and The Chocolate Box. Review: I found this book at a "little free library" a couple months ago and decided to hold onto it for a rainy day. I finally had an opportunity to read it and, overall, was happy with my decision to bring it home. When I first picked out this book, I wasn't really sure what to expect from it. My biggest concern was it would end up being a book of cast-off mysteries that just weren't that good. However, I was pleasantly surprised. As is usually the case with books like this, some mysteries were more entertaining than others. But, there were just enough good stories to keep me interested in reading further. In particular, I found I especially liked The Adventure of the Cheap Flat (which had me baffled as to why Poirot even felt the mystery was worth his time) ...

OK, maybe it isn't the end of the world. But, it is a beginning of a whole new world as things start getting locked down tight and people are encouraged to isolate themselves. I'm still going to the office today, mostly because I am mostly isolated there anyway (I have every intention of locking the door). But, as of right now, my wife, a teacher assistant, is home, my kids are home (though my oldest home schools and still has class as a result) and our two favorite hangouts, the library and the ice rink, are closed. It's going to be a long couple of weeks or more. In a way, I kind of wish this were the zombie apocalypse. At least then, we (probably) wouldn't need to worry about paying the bills and, at minimum, I would have an excuse to stab people in the head.

There are people out there who can flick a cigarette and start a massive forest fire. Then, there's me, the man who just spent an hour trying to get the fire pit lit and failed miserably. I'm not even sure what I was doing wrong. I mean, it's possible the branches I was using were wet. But, I couldn't even get the very dry kindling to stay lit. Heck, I even tried using a newspaper and all it did was smolder a bit. I guess I'm pretty much screwed if there's ever a zombie apocalypse. I knew there was a reason why I don't go camping.

This, to me, is a scarier day than Friday the 13th (which also happens to fall this week) because I'm sure there will be plenty of people oversleeping and rushing to get to work on time. Heck, my own inner clock is still re-setting itself a bit. I rely on it heavily during the week to get me out of bed in time to use the bathroom and get dressed before the rest of the family (I have an alarm, but I always set that for the absolute latest time because I don't like waking my wife up unless I have to). It almost failed me this morning, but I managed to wake up only about 2 minutes later than normal so I'm on schedule now. This is the first day I'm starting to feel a bit like myself. My youngest daughter caught some sort of stomach bug on Wednesday and I stayed home with her. I thought I avoided catching it myself, but I was wrong. And, wow, did that wipe me out. I won't go into the gross details, but, according to my bathroom scale, I lost about 5 pounds in rough...

My wife got the game Death Stranding as a Christmas present from her mom and finally had an opportunity to try it yesterday evening while my oldest daughter and I were at the ice rink. She was still "playing" the game when I got home and, after watching her, I had to ask "what happened to games you could just sit down and play?" When I got home, she was on part of the game that had a movie playing. I took off my coat, used the bathroom, changed my clothes and found a light late-night dinner before sitting down on the couch with her and that movie was still playing. In fact, it played for a good 15 minutes after I sat down before she was finally able to pick up the controller and do something. I get having a short movie to advance the plot. But, this was practically a full-length film (complete with voice credits). Quite frankly, I would have turned the game off long before I reached the end of it. Ironically, had this been an actual movie, I probably would h...

I made a regular tater tot casserole yesterday and realized I never posted about the Sloppy Joe version I made last month. This was a new thing for me. I came across a recipe on the web, gave it a try and it turned out to be pretty good. As is usually the case, I wound up modifying the recipe, mostly because it was one of those recipes that made everything from scratch and I really didn't have the time to do that. If you want to try my version of this, here's what you'll need: 1 pound of ground beef 1 can of Sloppy Joe mix (I used Manwich because it was on sale) 1 bag of tater tots 1 green pepper 1 onion Shredded Colby Jack Cheese You start out by browning the hamburger and mixing in the Sloppy Joe mix. You then put the Sloppy Joe meat in the bottom of a baking dish. Top with chopped bell pepper and chopped onion Add a layer of shredded cheese Add the still-frozen tater tots in a layer Add another layer of shredded cheese I topped mine off with bell p...

Synopsis: Max absolutely adores Kate's new son, Liam and would do anything to protect him. But, when his overprotective nature results in anxiety, he must find a way to overcome it while visiting a farm. Meanwhile, Snowball attempts to rescue a baby tiger from a circus and Gidget pretends to be a cat in an effort to retrieve a lost toy. Who's in it? The animated movie uses voices from Patton Oswalt , Kevin Hart , Harrison Ford , Eric Stonestreet and Jenny Slate . Review: After a hectic few weeks, we finally had time to have a family movie night this past weekend and, since we all enjoyed the first film, this was my pick. Unfortunately, while I fully expected this movie to not be as good as the original, I wasn't expecting it to worse to a point none of us enjoyed it very much. There were quite a few things I didn't like about this movie. The first was the fact there was just too much going on at once. It felt as though the writers originally intended this t...