Steven Helmer Publications

  Image by  OpenClipart-Vectors  from  Pixabay I look in the mirror and see a ghost. A grumpy old man where my image should be. His hair is grey, he’s carrying some extra pounds And his eyes no longer sparkle with a feeling of being carefree. He looks a bit familiar, like I’ve seen him some place before. Was it at some sort of function or celebration? From his facial features, it’s possible He might even be some sort of distant relation. He looks so sad and grumpy. His face is so grim. It makes me wonder What the world has done to him. As I study this mirror apparition, I ask myself “how could he let himself go like that?” I try to be respectful, But he’s just so sad to look at. I guess I shouldn’t be so quick to judge him, Like I am some sort of referee. After all, I’m sure there are plenty of things On which he and I would agree. So what if he can’t keep his eyes open in his chair? It’s not like there’s anything wrong with an afternoon nap. Plus, he’s not wrong, To...

Synopsis: Attorney Perry Mason believes his court-assigned client, Albert Brogan, is being framed for armed robbery. However, the two victims in the crime, Rodney Archer and Martha Lavina, insist Brogan was the man and the one witness who could refute their testimony, nightclub hostess Inez Kaylor, fled the courtroom and cannot be found. To make matters worse, prosecutors hope to use the armed robbery conviction to pin a murder charge on Brogan as well. Mason has just one weekend to figure out why Archer and Lavina are lying. Review: I took a break from reading Perry Mason books after not enjoyng the last couple as much as I had hoped. However, I couldn't figure out what to get the last time I was at the library and wound up checking out this book as a result. While I'm still not as big of a fan of Perry Mason as I am of other literary detectives, this book did wind up being better than I expeced it to be.  I think the thing I liked the most about this book was the way it st...

Synopsis: Orphaned by her parents, Ella is forced to tend to her stepmother and two stepsisters. Her dream is to sell the dresses she makes but the traditional views of her kingdom prevent her from doing so. When the prince falls in love with her and invites her to a royal ball, Ella is given the opportunity to pursue her dream but, when she falls in love with the prince, must choose between that dream and becoming his wife. Who's in it? The movie stars Camila Cabello , Billy Porter , Nicholas Galitzine , Idina Menzel and Tallulah Greive. Review: My oldest daughter's skating coach recommended watching this movie so, since it had been a while since we had a family movie night, we wound up watching it last night. At first, I wasn't really sure what to expect from yet another Cinderella remake but, overall, I do have to say I enjoyed this film. Generally speaking, the main plot of Cinderella (girl gets dressed up to meet boy) is enough to fill maybe 40 minutes of screen time...

  I had to run to Wal-mart this morning before heading into the office. While there, I was debating making a stop at McDonald's to pick up a couple breakfast burritos when I came across this product in their freezer section. Since the Tina's Cantina burritos were just $1 each, I decided to give them a try. I'll start out by saying I did like the convenience of this product. All I had to do was wrap the burritos in a papertowel and microwave both of them for about 2 1/2 minutes. They came out of the microwave perfect, not too hot or overcooked and not frozen on the inside. Taste-wise, I thought this was an OK product. The burrito filling definitely didn't look anything like it does on the packaging and I didn't notice much breakfast sausage or cheese but I also didn't hate the flavor. It wasn't as good as the ones I could have purchased at McDonald's or even Kwik Trip but, for the $1 price, I was OK with them. The burritos did prove to be reasonably fill...

Synopsis: After declaring bankruptcy, Terrence Mackleby is thrilled when he receives an offer for a new credit card and is accepted. Shortly after using it to buy a new car, however, Terrence realizes he is being followed by three men in black suits and he should have read the card's fine print. Who's in it? The movie stars Dan Crisafulli , Kay Whitney , Richard Garcia , Pat Cashman and Jennifer Angelucci-Medina. Review : My wife and I cam across this movie a couple days ago and, while the description was a bit vague, thought it looked interesting so I added it to our library. To be honest, I wasn't really sure what to expect from the film when we watched it last night but, at minimum, I hoped it wouldn't turn out to be yet another soft core porn film posing as a horror movie. As it turns out, it was a better movie than expected. I, personally, would not describe this as a horror movie. Yeah, some of the scenes were a little creepy but there wasn't anything overl...

Synopsis: A group of passengers on a party bus heading to Burning Man are left stranded in the desert and are terrorized by a cannibalistic cult searching for their chosen one. Unable to escape or call for help, the few surviving passengers must find a way to survive the night while their tormentors, aided by their key-carrying bus driver, work to get inside the bus. Who's in it? The movie stars Tara Reid , Jillian Newton , Shelby McCullough , Sadie Katz and ViDonna Michaels. Review: My wife and I came across this movie a couple days ago and, since it sounded somewhat interesting, added it to our list. We had time to watch it last night and immediately regretted that decision. So, general rule of thumb, if a moviehas only one reasonably-recognizable actor/actress then kills off that actor/actress after only a few minutes of screen time, that's typically not a good sign. And, shame on me, when they killed off Tara Reid's character not long after the movie started and wit...

Synopsis:  A dimwitted busboy, Walter, finds success as an artist when he accidentally kills his landlady's cat, covers it in clay and convinces people it is a sculpture. Determined to win the heart of the woman he secretly loves, Walter decides to repeat the process. Only, this time, he is using people. Who's in it? The movie stars Dick Miller , Barboura Morris , Antony Carbone , Ed Nelson and J udy Bamber. Review: I was running ahead of schedule this morning and had plenty of time before I needed to head to the office. Rather than risk waking everyone else up by pacing the floor, I looked for a movie to watch and picked this one solely because of the relatively-short runtime (66 minutes). To be honest, I wasn't really sure if I would like this movie, mostly because the premise reminded me too much of  House of Wax . Also, when I first started watching the film, I wasn't sure if it was going to be a horror movie, comedy or social comentary about the beatnik culture....

With school back in session and both of us working again, my wife and I still need to get ourselves back into a routine when it comes to planning dinner. As a result of this, we needed to figure something out at the last second and neither of us was in the mood to thaw something from the freezer. Since the kids had already eaten at their grandmother's, I decided to just pick up something at the store. After walking around for several minutes, I ended up with this in the cart. The primary reason I picked this particular frozen skillet dinner ($6.99) versus several other choices was because it had the least amount of steps. Frozen dinners are meant to be convenient. If we have to go through a long process and prepare certain things separately (as is the case with a surprisingly large number of skillet dinners) then we might as well just make something from scratch. This dinner, in comparison, only had three steps and none of them were overly complicated. Preparing the dinner proved t...

 After having to skip a year due to COVID, we continued a family tradition by taking the kids to Poynette to visit the Environmental Center again. Not much has changed, though we were disappointed we weren't allowed in one of the museums yet because of the pandemic, and we all enjoyed ourselves. Here are a few photos:

Synopsis: Years after his parents were brutally murdered by a gang of outlaws, John Reid, now an attorney, returns to Texas and reunites with his Texas Ranger brother, Dan. When a local printer is murdered by the villainous Major Bartholomew "Butch" Cavendish and his army, John joins his brother and other rangers in pursuit only to be left for dead when Cavendish ambushes the party. After being nursed back to health by his childhood Comanche friend, Tonto, Reid dons a mask and rides off in search of justice for his slain brother. Who's in it? The movie stars Klinton Spilsbury , Michael Horse , Christopher Lloyd , Matt Clark and Juanin Clay . Review: I had heard of this movie prior to coming across it a couple days ago but, other than remembering it had been a box office failure, didn't know much else about it. Since I had enjoyed watching The Lone Ranger (in reruns) as a kid, I decided to give it a try. I didn't enjoy the experience. Wow, where to begin? I gu...