Steven Helmer Publications

Synopsis: Years after a terrible accident killed his wife, "disfigured" his best friend, Hansel, and ultimately resulted in child services taking away his son, Derek Zoolander is retired and has isolated himself from the rest of the world. When he is offered a modeling job in Rome, he reluctantly accepts in the hopes it will help him get his son back. However, the offer turns out to be part of a sinister plot that puts Derek, Hansel and Derek Jr's lives in danger. Who's in it? The movie stars Ben Stiller , Owen Wilson , Penelope Cruz , Will Ferrell and Christine Taylor. Review: Even though my wife and I both love the movie Zoolander , I wasn't overly interested in seeing the sequel, mostly because I figured, like many sequels, I wouldn't enjoy it all that much. However, after her and I couldn't make up our minds about what to watch last night, I remembered this was in our library and decided to put it on. As it turns out, it was better than expected. I...

Synopsis: In 1946, a hooded assailant begins attacking couples in Texarkana, prompting numerous law enforcement agencies to conduct one of the largest manhunts in history. As the attacks continue and the attacker's identity remains a mystery, the citizens go to great lengths to protect themselves after dark. Who's in it? The movie stars Ben Johnson , Andrew Prine , Dawn Wells , Jimmy Clem and Cindy Butler . Review: I absolutely love horror movies but had never found time to watch this movie even though I did see the sequel . When my wife mentioned this movie a few days ago (after having a conversation with one of her coworkers), I decided to add it to our library and give it a try. We did just that last night and, while I didn't hate the film, it wasn't what I was expecting it to be either. I watched this thinking it would be similar to the movie Halloween . Instead, other than the fact people were being murdered, this movie reminded me more of an episode of Dukes o...

Synopsis: When Mary ( Zoe Perry ) wins $500 on a promotional scratch-off lottery ticket, it causes a spat with George ( Lance Barber ), who wants to spend the money on a new dishwasher even though she thinks of it as gambling and a sin. Arguments between Sheldon ( Iain Armitage ), Dr. Linkletter ( Ed Begley Jr. ) and Dr. Sturgis ( Wallace Shawn ) result in a new lead researcher being assigned to their project. My Thoughts:  I am really trying, but I am having a hard time seeing Mary's point of view about the lottery ticket . Yes, buying a lottery ticket could be considered gambling. However, she didn't purchase the ticket, it was given to her, and I just can't see that as the same thing. Maybe if the episode would have pushed things a little further and have that $500 win result in George wanting to buy more lottery tickets, I would have been able to agree with her. One thing I do like about this series is how George is portrayed. One of my biggest complaints about most si...

Synopsis: In an effort to learn more about the castaways, the Russians send a spy to the island to pose as Gilligan ( Bob Denver ), leading to a series of misunderstandings that cause the rest of the castaways to believe Gilligan is suffering from a mental illness. My Thoughts: I wasn't a big fan of Gilligan's "friends" in this episode. Over the course of three seasons and roughly 100 episodes, I have never seen any evidence of Gilligan even being capable of telling a lie unless it was to protect someone. If anything, he is truthful to a fault. Yet, when a pie goes missing and the laundry ends up on the ground, the rest of the group were quick to call him a liar. And, let's face it, him saying there is someone on the island that looks exactly like him isn't exactly the weirdest thing that has happened to the castaways. This is another episode that forgets what has already happened on the island. I understand this show wasn't meant to be a serial and, with...

Synopsis: A kind but physically deformed Dr. Henry Heckyl tries to kill himself by overdosing on a diet drink. Instead of dying, he is transformed into the handsome Mr. Hype. At first, this seems like an improvement, especially since women are attracted to his new form. However, Mr. Hype turns out to be a blood-thirsty killer. Who's in it? The movie stars Oliver Reed , Sunny Johnson , Virgil Frye , Mel Welles and Jackie Coogan . Review:  My daughter had to watch a movie based on the book Strange Case of   Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for her Gothic Literature class and, mostly because this was readily available on Epix, it ended up being the film we picked out. Had it not been for her class assignment, I honestly believe I would have shut this movie off long before it was over. To be fair, the premise is actually a pretty good one. I like how the movie modernizes the book while doing a bit of a role reversal by having Dr. Heckyl (Reed) being the personality that is deformed while ...

Synopsis: While investigating a series of deaths in the Florida Everglades, game warden Steve Benton discovers a pair of human-sized leeches living in an underwater cave. With the creatures thirsting for blood, Benton, with help from his girlfriend and her father, must find a way to stop them. Who's in it? The movie stars Ken Clark , Yvette Vickers , Jan Shepard , Tyler McVey and Bruno VeSota . Review: I've had this movie in my library for several weeks now but have been hesitant to watch it because it seemed like one of those films that could either be surprisingly good or really bad. I finally got around to watching it earlier this morning and, after seeing it, feel it belongs more in the latter category than the former. Wow, where to begin? I think the first thing I noticed about this movie is just how long it takes for anything to happen. Other than a corpse being found early on, nothing of importance happens in the film until about halfway through and then the movie make...

Synopsis: The castaways learn their island is ground zero for a missile test that will destroy everything within 100 miles. At first, they see it as an opportunity to be rescued but, when they fail to attract the attention of the search plane, they await their doom. My Thoughts: A lot of people seem to know about that "uncharted" island.  One of the main reasons the castaways supposedly can't be found is nobody knows the island exists. Yet the United States government apparently does and has it on their charts. They even know the island is (normally) uninhabited, indicating they've visited it before. What about the neighboring islands? We know some of those are inhabited and, based on the number of times natives have visited the castaways, are close enough to suffer from the missile blast as well. Maybe things back in the 1960s were different, but that would seem like something that would result in the test being scrubbed.  Oh, and what about the huts? They were buil...

Synopsis: Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) saves the live of a native woman ( Midori ) and, in accordance with her tribe's customs, she insists on becoming his slave. Gilligan is reluctant to be her master and soon finds his life in danger when members of her tribe arrive with the intention of winning her back by killing him. My Thoughts: I lost a lot of respect for the castaways when watching this episode. Instead of being offended by the idea of someone being someone else's slave, as any good American should be, it seemed like Gilligan was the only one who was opposed to the idea. They were even willing to buy her services from him. With the exception of maybe Mr. Howell ( Jim Backus ), it seemed out of character for them. The episode glosses over the fact the natives speak English . That seemed like something that would be a pretty big deal considering the other natives they've run into while on the island haven't. It is an indication that tribe has contact with the outside ...

Synopsis: While recovering a coconut from an unexplored cave, Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) is bitten on the neck by a bat. Believing he is turning into a vampire as a result, he chooses to hide himself away so he won't endanger the other castaways. My Thoughts: How are there still unexplored caves on the island? The island is far from huge and the castaways have plenty of free time. You would think they would want to check out every single cave, both as potential shelter against headhunter attacks/bad weather and in search of items that might help them out, especially since by this point in the series, it was pretty obvious they weren't the first ones on the island. If nothing else, you think they would have noticed that cave simply because of the bats. It's not like bats don't leave their cave to get food. On a similar note, why did they have to go so far to get coconuts? The series makes it seem like coconut trees are fairly common on the island, including quite a few nea...

Synopsis: A successful Paris painter and puppeteer, Gaston Morel, has a terrible secret. After painting his models, he later strangles them. When he meets Lucille Lutien, he begins to fall in love with the woman and decides to give up both his painting and homicidal ways. However, his past is threatening to catch up with him. Who's in it? The movie stars John Carradine , Jean Parker , Nils Asther , Teala Loring and Sonia Sorel . Review: I had heard of this movie but hadn't taken the time to watch it. However, I came across it last night and, since I wanted something to watch before going to bed, decided to give it a try. Overall, it ended up being a good choice. Even though I'm still a little confused about how Morel (Carradine) earned the nickname Bluebeard (he doesn't even have a beard and it makes him sound more like a pirate than a serial killer), I thought the overall story about an artist with homicidal tendencies intriguing. This is both because I wondered if ...

Synopsis: When Mr. Howell ( Jim Backus ) learns there is an imposter pretending to be him and selling off his assets, he offers the rest of the castaways a $1 million reward to help him get off the island. The reward turns out not to be necessary when the imposter falls off a yacht and winds up on the island. My Thoughts: I have always thought this episode would have been a good setup for a Gilligan's Island s pinoff. One of the things that sets this episode apart from the series' other "doppelganger" episodes is we never learn the imposter's real identity. That, combined with the imposter not being caught at the end, could have potentially set up a new series with Backus playing a con man.  OK, I'll stop bringing up the raft now. After re-watching this episode, I now have my answer regarding why they didn't just attempt to build another raft and leave the island. Based on how quickly the boat they built for Mr. Howell sunk, I am now convinced they just ...

Synopsis: Test pilot Jeff Nolan lands his plane in Britain only to discover most of the Earth's population has been wiped out. He, along with a group of other survivors, take refuge in a hotel and learn the planet is being invaded by spacesuit-clad robots with the ability to turn dead people into zombies. Who's in it? The movie stars Willard Parker , Virginia Field , Dennis Price , Thorley Walters and Vanda Godsell. Review: When I came across this movie early this morning, I was a bit undecided about whether or not I wanted to watch it. The description sounded intriguing but, at the same time, the premise reminded me a little too much of the movie Plan 9 From Outer Space . After a short inner debate, I ended up watching it and enjoyed it a lot more than I was expecting. While a bit slower paced than I would prefer, the movie has a lot of good things going for it. I personally loved how the movie used the robot invaders, demonstrating their ability to kill a human with a sim...

Synopsis: In 1960, military test pilot Maj. William Allison inadvertently flies an experimental aircraft into a time warp and is propelled to the year 2024. There, he discovers the world's population has either been mutated or sterilized by a plague. He meets other accidental time travelers who want him to return to his own time and prevent the plague from happening. However, the local ruler wants to keep Allison captive so he can procreate with the ruler's granddaughter, the only other person who isn't sterile. Who's in it? The movie stars Robert Clarke , Darlene Tompkins , Arianne Ulmer , Vladimir Sokoloff and Boyd 'Red' Morgan . Review: I came across this movie last night and wound up adding it to my movie library mostly because the "future" world it described was supposed to happen just two years from now. I had some doubts about the movie but wound up enjoying it a bit more than expected. I think the thing I liked best about this film was it w...

Synopsis: After a radio broadcast reveals Mary Ann's ( Dawn Wells ) boyfriend is marrying another woman, the three bachelors are persuaded to romance her in an effort to soften the blow. However, Mary Ann misreads their intentions and believes they are only being nice to her because she is about to die. My Thoughts: When I first saw Mary Ann sending messages via bottles my first thought was, once again, "if they can do that, then why won't a raft work?" However, not wanting to sound like a broken record, I am instead going to ask, "where did those bottles come from?" It would be one thing if it was a one-time correspondence, but she was apparently sending the message on a regular basis, and I find it very hard to believe there were that many empty bottles on board the Minnow. On that same note, just how selfish is Mary Ann? If they did have a supply of glass bottles, it seems like it would be better to send messages in an effort to get rescued. Instead, she...

Synopsis: After her father, the king, dies, Princess Snow White's evil stepmother first imprisons her then attempts to have her murdered. Fleeing into the forest, she takes refuge with a group of traveling performers. Who's in it? The movie stars Carol Heiss , Patricia Medina , Edson Stroll , Guy Rolfe , Moe Howard , Larry Fine and Joe DeRita . Review: I stayed up a little later than everyone else last night and, while waiting to be tired enough to go to bed, decided to watch a movie. It had been a while since I watched a Three Stooges film and this looked somewhat interesting, so I decided to give it a try. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. Overall, I like the Three Stooges , but they were a comedy team that, in my opinion, overstayed their welcome and, by the time DeRita joined the trio as Curly Joe, were well past their prime. This movie did nothing to change my mind about that. In fact, I honestly feel like this movie might have been better wi...

Synopsis: After Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) discovers a sunken ship in the lagoon, the castaways salvage costumes and a movie camera and decide to make a silent movie in an attempt to finally get rescued from the island. My Thoughts: I'm no expert on this,  but if that camera equipment was submerged in salt water with nothing but a wooden crate protecting it, shouldn't it have been unusable by the time Gilligan discovered the ship? I have a very hard time believing that wooden crate was perfectly waterproof this entire time. Heck, I would think even the costumes would be water damaged. I feel like the castaways tried too hard in this episode.   I mean, let's face it, all they really had to do was make a short film showing a rescue note. I'm not really sure why they felt the need to make a full-length silent movie that left everything up to the viewer's interpretation, especially since their attempt to show the location of the island was an absolute failure. Despite what...

Synopsis: While traveling by train with his new bride, Jane, Paul Webster receives a telegram and, without explanation, gets off the train at the next stop and disappears. Jane begins a search for her husband and eventually finds a clue that leads her to a plantation in the Louisiana bayou. When she resists the owner's efforts to get her to leave, she eventually learns Paul was part of a medical experiment that healed his injuries from a plane crash but also has him slowly turning into a reptile. Who's in it? The movie stars Beverly Garland , George Macready , Frieda Inescort , Richard Crane and Lon Chaney, Jr. Review: I came across this movie a few days ago and, while I had some doubts about it, wound up adding it to my library. I decided to watch it before heading into the office this morning and the film ended up exceeding my expectations. I think the thing I liked most about this film was the mystery surrounding Paul (Crane) and his disappearance. Based on the movie...

Synopsis: A captured Confederate cavalry unit is given a choice, stay in a prison camp for the remainder of the war or receive amnesty in exchange for serving with the Union Army and defending a western fort against the Apache. The men accept the latter only to discover the fort's commanding officer, mourning the loss of his brother, may not be willing to honor the conditions of their agreement. Things become even more complicated when the men are assigned to escort a wagon train and the commander's sister-in-law decides to travel with them. Who's it in? The movie stars Joseph Cotten , Linda Darnell , Jeff Chandler , Cornel Wilde and Dale Robertson. Review: I came across this movie last night while waiting for my daughter to get done at the ice rink. It looked somewhat intriguing, so I decided to give it a try and it turned out to be a better movie than expected. I think the thing I liked most about this movie was how it wasn't anywhere near as predictable as I thou...

Synopsis: An aspiring newspaper reporter, Michael Ward, is the key witness in a murder trial and his testimony helps convict Joe Briggs on mostly circumstantial evidence. As he begins to second guess what he saw, his neighbor is murdered, and the police make him the primary suspect for both murders. His only hope is his girlfriend, Jane, who needs to find a mysterious stranger that may be connected to the crimes. Who's in it? The movie stars John McGuire , Margaret Tallichet , Peter Lorre , Charles Halton and Elisha Cook, Jr. Review: I'm not a huge film noir fan and, under normal circumstances, might have passed this movie up. However, I do like Peter Lorre and, after seeing he was in this film, decided to give it a try. Unfortunately, while the premise was an interesting one, I just didn't enjoy this film as much as I was hoping I would. My biggest problem with this movie was, for a film that is only about an hour in length, there sure was an awful lot of filler. This i...

Synopsis: When someone or something breaks into the supply hut and steals both food and the flare gun, the castaways begin to suspect they aren't alone on the island. The Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr. ), however, thinks it is something more menacing, voodoo. My Thoughts:  One of the most intriguing things about this episode is the gun. The second I first saw Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) standing guard holding a loaded pistol, a number of questions flooded into my brain. Why did the Skipper feel the need to have a gun on the Minnow? Why did the castaways feel the need to have an armed sentry on duty when they believed the island to be deserted? Even if there are good explanations for the first two questions, why would anyone think giving Gilligan a loaded weapon was a good idea, especially after he wasted multiple bullets? I am almost starting to wonder if maybe the Skipper expected to be shipwrecked. It's one thing to have a flare gun. It's another thing to have 150 flares for that g...

Synopsis: After marrying his elderly business partner's daughter, Waldo Trumbull, an alcoholic funeral director, has nearly run his funeral parlor business into the ground. With the help of his criminal henchman, the unscrupulous Trumbull tries to drum up additional business by murdering prospective clients. However, his plans don't work out as well as he hoped, especially when he tries to kill a man who simply will not die. Who's in it? The movie stars Vincent Price , Basil Rathbone , Boris Karloff , Peter Lorre and Joyce Jameson. Review: I came across this movie a couple days ago and, mostly because many of my favorite classic film actors were in it, I decided to add it to my library. I had an opportunity to watch it last night and early this morning. After seeing it, I am sad to say I didn't like it nearly as much as I thought I would. I am going to start out by saying the one thing this movie did right was the casting. Had it not been for the stars of the movie, ...

Synopsis:  After a surprise rain leaves the castaways drenched, they decide they should build shelter before the island is hit by a storm. However, disagreements result in the group splitting up and trying to build separate huts and, as their attempts fail, they risk facing a storm with nothing to protect them. My Thoughts: One thing that always surprises me when watching this episode is how long it takes the castaways to realize they need to have some sort of shelter. Yes, I know their top priority, at least in the first season, was finding a way to be rescued but with the Professor's ( Russell Johnson ) overall intelligence and the Skipper's ( Alan Hale, Jr. ) experience, you would think shelter would have been at least second on that priority list.  I found the allotment of tools in the Skipper's toolbox a bit odd. It seemed like he had everything the castaways needed to build a fancy hut, including a machete and rope, but didn't have tools you would normally expec...

Synopsis : After waking up following a violent storm and finding the S. S. Minnow has been stranded on an uncharted island, Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr ) and Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) decide the best course of action is to build a raft and try to find help. Meanwhile, the remaining five castaways are fearful of potential headhunters. Review: I recently was able to start watching reruns of Gilligan's Island again and decided to do so in order. This included this first episode of the series (not counting the pilot episode), which I hadn't seen in at least a couple years. After re-watching it, I realized my feelings about this particular episode are a bit mixed. The episode does have quite a good mix of comedy in it, especially some entertaining physical comedy when Gilligan and the Skipper are trying to save their quickly disintegrating raft while surrounded by sharks. I also feel like it at least attempts to set the tone for the rest of the series by showing the viewer why they can...

Synopsis: When a wealthy philanthropist falls to his death, police believe it is an accident. However, when another body is found in the same apartment building, murder is suspected. A female reporter, Pat Morgan, already working undercover in an attempt to learn more about the philanthropist's connections to organized crime, attempts to uncover the truth. However, she also has to contend with an unscrupulous rival and love interest, Ted Rand. Who's in it? The movie stars Ginger Rogers , Lyle Talbot , Purnell Pratt , Arthur Hoyt and Louise Beavers . Review: I started watching this movie some time ago but was interrupted after the first few minutes. I finally had an opportunity to watch the film in its entirety and was much more impressed with it than I was expecting. There were a couple things I found I really liked about this movie. One of the main ones was the fact this had a halfway decent murder mystery. There were quite a few seedy looking characters in the apartment b...

Synopsis: After turning into a 60-foot monster following exposure to plutonium, Lt. Col. Glenn Manning is believed to have been killed by the military despite his body never being found. However, his sister, Joyce, isn't convinced and, when a bunch of trucks go missing in Mexico, she convinces the military to investigate. Who's in it? The movie stars Sally Fraser , Roger Pace , Russ Bender , Rico Alaniz and Duncan 'Dean' Parkin. Review: I wasn't going to watch this movie until I had an opportunity to re-watch The Amazing Colossal Man , which I haven't seen in ages. However, I had quite a bit of free time last night while waiting for my daughter to get done at the skating rink and wound up watching this film on my phone to occupy that time. After seeing it, I have to admit I enjoyed it a lot more than expected. I think the thing I liked best about this movie was, even though it references the first time and throws in a couple flashbacks, the movie doesn't c...

My wife is helping the Henry Vilas Zoo with a fundraiser (sewing stuffed giraffes), and we needed to make a trip down there yesterday to pick up the kits. Since we were already there, and the weather was halfway decent (though a bit overcast), we checked out the zoo with the kids. Here are some of the photos.

Synopsis: Frustrated by a tribal law that prevents hunting beyond the river, the Symbol Maker's teenage son is determined to explore the forbidden land even though the elders believe it will bring evil to their community and defiance of the law is punishable by death. Who's in it? The movie stars Robert Vaughn , Darah Marshall , Leslie Bradley , Frank DeKova and June Jocelyn. Review: I came across this movie a few weeks ago and, while I was somewhat intrigued by the premise, was also hesitant about actually watching it. I finally decided to give it a try early this morning and was pleasantly surprised. At first, I didn't think I was going to enjoy this movie all that much. When I first started watching it, I was reminded both of the movie The Village and of that Gilligan's Island episode where Gilligan dreams about being a caveman. As the film progressed, however, I found I enjoyed it a lot more than I was expecting. I think the thing that I liked best about this ...