Steven Helmer Publications

Synopsis: When Mr. and Mrs. Howell ( Jim Backus and Natalie Schafer ) discover the minister that married them was a fake and their marriage is invalid, the Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr. ) attempts to correct the situation by conducting a wedding ceremony on a raft. However, an argument causes the couple to call the whole thing off. My Thoughts: The more I watch this show , the more I realize just how many themes the series recycled plot devices in its three seasons. In this case, it was the radio announcer reading the wrong name, similar to what happened in an earlier episode involving the Howell's thinking they lost all their money. That being said, I liked how this episode threw in a new wrinkle. It was very clever how the writers mixed things up a bit with the raft building scene. I fully expected (as I'm sure was intended) some sort of injury to the Skipper and loved how he narrowly avoided it multiple times. I was a nice change up to what would have normally been a predictabl...

Synopsis: The castaways are on edge when the island appears to be haunted by a ghost ( Richard Kiel ). When the same ghost leaves them a boat, they don't know if it is an opportunity for them to finally get off the island or a trap. My Thoughts:  For starters, I was surprised the Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr. ) was one of the skeptics. Yes, he fell in line with the rest of them once he also saw the "ghost," but the fact he doubted both Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) and the rest of the castaways seemed a bit out of character for him. After all, he is normally the most superstitious one in the group. Didn't anyone think to check for footprints? The agent playing the ghost was a fairly large guy and I find it hard to believe he didn't leave noticeable footprints wherever he went. Frankly, I'm a little disappointed in the Professor ( Russell Johnson ) for not thinking of that. Someone pretending to be a ghost was a lot more plausible explanation than his floating sheet theor...

Synopsis: A dispute between the Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr. ) and Mr. Howell ( Jim Backus ) results in the castaways holding an election to name a president. Everyone is surprised when Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) wins as a write-in candidate but share the blame when the island's new government goes south from there. My Thoughts:   Why does the Professor ( Russell Johnson ) receive no love in this episode? I can understand why the castaways would be reluctant to vote for either the Skipper or Mr. Howell but the Professor seemed like a much sounder third choice than Gilligan. If anything, he seems like the person who ends up acting like the de facto leader in most of the episodes. That being said, Gilligan wasn't the problem. If anything, he was actually making quite a bit of sense as president, pushing for a new well to be dug as soon as possible to prevent the castaways from dying of thirst and, when they offered no help, doing it himself. As much credit as he gets for being the ...

Synopsis: Hoping to gain information for a murder novel he is writing, Charles Condomine and his wife, Ruth, invite a local medium to perform a seance at their house. Charles assumes the medium is a fake until the spirit of his first wife, Elvira, is summoned and, unable (or unwilling) to leave, puts a strain on his new marriage. Who's in it? The movie stars Rex Harrison , Constance Cummings , Kay Hammond , Margaret Rutherford and Joyce Carey . Review: I had come across this movie multiple times but always found an excuse not to watch it. However, I wound up starting it while waiting for my daughter at the ice rink yesterday evening and, after finishing it this morning, have to say it was an enjoyable film. I think the thing that surprised me most about this movie was, even though it is classified as a comedy, it ended up feeling much more like a drama at times. This is especially true when Charles (Harrison) starts to see Elvira (Hammond) for the first time and his second wife...

Synopsis: While searching for missing soldiers in the Middle East, an Army Ranger, Capt. Artemis, and her squad encounter a strange storm that transports them to a desert world that is full of giant, deadly, creatures. When the rest of her team is killed, Artemis finds herself partnering with some of the world's native humans in an effort to both return home and shut down a portal connecting the two worlds. Who's in it? The movie stars Milla Jovovich , Tony Jaa , Ron Perlman , Diego Boneta and Meagan Good. Review: This movie has been in my library for several weeks, but I have avoided watching it mostly because I wasn't familiar with the video game it is based after and didn't really know what to expect from it. My wife and I finally got around to watching it yesterday evening and, while I didn't like it quite as much as some other video-game-inspired movies, did think it was an OK film. I think the one thing I really liked about this movie was the almost non-st...

Synopsis: Guy enjoys everything about his life as a bank teller in Free City, blissfully unaware he is actually a nonplayer character (NPC) in a popular video game. When an encounter with one of the city's sunglass-wearing "heroes," opens up a whole new world for him, it puts all of Free City in danger from a game programmer determined to hide stolen code that resulted in successful artificial intelligence. Who's in it? The movie stars Ryan Reynolds , Jodie Comer , Lil Rey Howery , Joe Keery and Taika Waititi. Review: My wife and I were pretty tired out after an overnight trip for a final college tour for our daughter. As a result of that, I was a bit reluctant to watch a movie with her last night and wound up picking out this movie figuring we could always stop it halfway through and finish it later. Neither of us was expecting to enjoy the movie enough to finish it in one night. I have to admit, I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. From the description, I th...

Synopsis: While attempting to turn tree sap into pancake syrup, Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) accidentally invents a substance that appears to be stronger than glue and the Professor ( Russell Johnson ) believes he can use it to repair the Minnow. However, Gilligan soon discovers his glue isn't permanent. My Thoughts: I've mentioned this before but why doesn't the Skipper's ( Alan Hale, Jr. ) toolbox have the things he needs to repair his ship? He has a hammer and apparently some boards (or at least the tools to make boards) but no nails? It seems like something that would be a staple in any toolbox. That being said, couldn't they have just salvaged nails from something else? The Minnow is a fairly large boat and pulling a half dozen nails or so from less important parts of that boat would have solved their problem. I feel like that should have been the first thing they should have tried (other than stopping by a hardware store before setting sail). I'm still a bit c...

Synopsis: The castaways are surprised to discover an ape man ( Denny Miller ) on the island and, fearing for the safety of the women, capture him. When they discover he is actually an actor practicing for an upcoming role as Tongo the Ape Man, they see and opportunity for rescue. However, they first must rescue him from a gorilla. My Thoughts:  Why does nobody ever believe Gilligan ( Bob Denver )? When he tells the Professor ( Russell Johnson ) and Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr. ) about Tongo, they once again chose to believe he was making things up. Isn't this the same island that also had one real jungle boy ( Kurt Russell ), three doppelgangers and a host of other strange things? At some point, you think people would just take him at his word based on previous experiences. I'll say it again, Mrs. Howell ( Natalie Schafer ) is fierce. She's not always the most likable character on this series but she's also the one person you don't want to mess with, especially if you a...

Synopsis: Dorian Doubleday is a railroad clerk who remembers everything he reads. After receiving his draft notice, he memorizes all the Army procedure manuals and his detailed knowledge results in him instantly being promoted to first sergeant. However, a group of unruly draftees, an eccentric colonel, and a jealous buck sergeant put his promotion in jeopardy. Who's in it? The movie stars William Tracy , James Gleason , Joe Sawyer , Elyse Knox and Douglas Fowley . Review: I came across this movie this morning and, while I wasn't really sure if I would enjoy it or not, I decided to give it a try. It turns out this film was a lot funnier than I was expecting. At first, I thought the movie was just going to be about Doubleday (Tracy) using his photographic memory to earn the sergeant's spot, which honestly sounded like it might be a bit predictable and dull. However, watching him make the adjustment after earning his promotion turned out to be the thing to make this movie...

Synopsis: Joe Greer is a successful racecar driver who uses his winnings to pay for his younger brother's college tuition.  When he learns his brother, Eddie, has been using his money to pay for his own budding racing career, he forbids it. However, when Eddie refuses to give up his dream, he reluctantly agrees to train him. However, a disagreement over Eddie's girlfriend and a fatal accident leads to the brothers parting ways until they meet again at the Indianapolis Speedway. Who's in it? The movie stars Pat O'Brien , Ann Sheridan , John Payne , Gale Page and Frank McHugh .  Review: I came across this movie a few days ago and, while I wasn't completely sure about it, ended up taking the time to watch it mostly because I recognized some of the stars. While it wasn't completely what I was expecting, it ended up being an interesting choice. One thing, in particular, I found I liked about this movie was how easy it was for me to relate to Joe (O'Brien), at...

Synopsis: Emily Elizabeth Howard is bullied and friendless after moving to Manhattan with her mom and attending an elite private school on a scholarship. To make matters worse, her mom needs to go out of town on business for a few days and Emily Elizabeth must spend that time with her incompetent uncle, Casey. She finally finds some happiness when a tiny red puppy she meets at a mysterious animal rescue tent sneaks into her backpack. However, when the puppy, Clifford, grows gigantic overnight, it causes a number of problems ranging from being evicted to being the subject of a city-wide manhunt because the owner of a biotechnology company claims Clifford belongs to him. Who's in it? The movie stars Darby Camp , Jack Whitehall , John Cleese , Izaac Wang , Tony Hale and David Alan Grier . Review: My mother-in-law recommended this movie, so my wife checked it out when she was at the library a couple days ago. We ended up having family movie time yesterday evening and, to my surpris...

  When my wife and I decided on pizza for dinner last night, I stopped at Kwik Trip with the intention of just buying a cheap, frozen, cheese pizza for our daughters since we already had another pizza in our freezer. However, as I was walking up to the checkout counter, this particular pizza caught my eye and, even though I wasn't crazy about spending $8.99 when I already had another option at home, I was intrigued enough to make the purchase anyway. We ended up making the pizza in the oven when I got home. After trying it, I have to say it is one of my favorites. One of the things, in particular, that really stood out for me when it came to this pizza was the toppings. The combination of sausage and cheese curds was both unique and delicious, especially since the curds were fresh enough to still squeak when we were eating them. The pizza also proved to be surprisingly filling, both because of the thicker crust and the generous amounts of toppings and cheese.  Normally, when ...

Synopsis: A group of vacationing adults and their children are driven to a remote beach so they can spend their day by the ocean. However, when their young kids become teenagers in a matter of a couple hours, they realize they are all growing older at an accelerated rate and are unable to leave the beach. Who's in it? The movie stars Gael Garcia Bernal , Vicky Krieps , Rufus Sewell , Alex Wolff and Francesca Eastwood . Review: My wife wanted to see this movie when it first came out last year. However, I'm not a big M. Night Shyamalan fan and was hesitant about spending nearly two hours watching it, even after she checked it out from the library yesterday. Despite my reluctance, we did finally end up watching the movie yesterday evening. After doing so, I have to admit it wound up being better than I was expecting. One thing that really surprised me about this movie was how it wasn't as predictable as I thought it would be. I was able to correctly guess who was behind the ...

Synopsis: A radio show contestant ( Strother Martin ) is dropped on the island with a shortwave radio. However, he refuses to call for help for the castaways because he is afraid of losing a $10,000 prize. My Thoughts: I don't want to sound like a broken record but how could a radio show drop off a contestant without noticing the island was occupied? Didn't they at least see the huts, especially since they delivered/picked him up with a helicopter? Of course, once again, this is a good reason for having a signal fire burning at all times. I think George Barkley's motivation was less about forfeiting money and more about just being lazy. I don't know how he could be disqualified for being dropped on an island that wasn't deserted (it's not like he picked it). It seemed more like he wasn't interested in earning the money honestly when he had help from seven reluctant people. The castaways are too nice. I'm not saying they needed to do anything violent, bu...

Synopsis: After a misunderstanding leads Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) to believe the Professor ( Russell Johnson ) has been murdered, the castaways decide to make the Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr. ) sheriff and Gilligan his deputy. However, Gilligan takes his job a little too seriously and ultimately puts everyone in jail. My Thoughts: I remember the castaways having a gun but where did they get the blanks? And, if they had blanks, why didn't they use them to scare off the variety of unsavory characters that have landed on the island? I am assuming the Professor made them somehow, but it would have been nice to get some sort of official explanation. Even if Gilligan hadn't been one of the people in charge, having a sheriff still seemed like a bad idea. Maybe   the Skipper would have had a cooler head, but the castaways were still effectively letting one person make all the decisions regarding the law and issuing a sentence. There's a reason why civilized countries have a court syste...

Synopsis: When a briefcase containing government documents washes up on the island, the castaways think it might lead to their rescue. However, when they sneak a peek inside, they become concerned about their lives being in danger. My Thoughts:  The Professor ( Russell Johnson ) sure was optimistic about being rescued. A little too optimistic, in my opinion. I mean, the United States government didn't exactly bend over backwards trying to retrieve a missing robot, missing space capsule, or top-secret missile and they even knew when the last of those was. What happened to the secret agent that was carrying the briefcase? We know two things about the case. It had top secret documents and those handcuffs were impossible to open without the keys (which were still inside the case). Shouldn't have been attached to a body or at least a severed arm? This episode has one of my favorite dream sequences. It's one of the few dream sequences that doesn't have Gilligan ( Bob Denver ...

Synopsis: Twenty-two years ago, Sarah Connor destroyed Cyberdyne Systems and prevented the invention of Skynet, saving 3 billion future lives. However, she was unable to prevent a T-800 Terminator robot from killing her son, John. When a new Terminator arrives in Mexico, Sarah finds herself protecting a young woman, Dani, with help from a surgically enhanced soldier from the future and the same T-800 that killed her son. Who's in it? The movie stars Linda Hamilton , Arnold Schwarzenegger , Mackenzie Davis , Natalia Reyes and Gabriel Luna . Review: I have had this movie in my library for some time now but didn't get around to watching it because, while I liked the original Terminator , I wasn't as big of a fan of the sequels. However, my wife and I had some time to watch a movie last night and, since I wasn't in the mood to look for something else, I finally selected this one. As it turns out, it was a lot better than I was expecting. One of the things I found I enjoy...

To tell you the truth, this is a product I didn't even know existed until I received a coupon for it from one of our local grocery stores. Since it was only $9.99 at a time when a rack of pork ribs has been running almost double that, I decided to pick them up and throw them in my freezer for a to-be-determined family dinner. That dinner ended up happening this past weekend. While I had hoped to wait until my grill wasn't buried in snow, I also wasn't in the mood to run to the store to find something at the last second and, after thawing these ribs, ended up making them in the oven. Overall, I have to say I was impressed. One of the things I found I liked about this product is the ribs were already pre-cooked. This meant I only needed to warm them in the oven and that took less than 20 minutes. Convenience always scores points with me, especially since we have a lot of evenings when none of us has a whole lot of time to cook. Had my gas grill been available, the overall tim...

Synopsis: In 2004, after years of disputes with the residents and government of a small Colorado town over a piece of property he had purchased, master welder Marvin Heemeyer goes on a destructive rampage in a bulldozer he had heavily fortified. This documentary tells his story from the perspective of those who were there. Review: When I first came across this movie a couple weeks ago and read the description, I thought it was some B-rated action film from the 1980s and wasn't overly interested in it as a result. However, when I realized it was a documentary about a real-life event that happened not that long ago, I was intrigued enough to add it to my library. I finally had a chance to watch it this morning and I have to admit it was pretty darn interesting. I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with documentaries. I like them for the most part but do get frustrated when they tend to be a bit one-sided. This particular one, however, managed to tell Marvin's story while not...

Synopsis: A meteorite crashes onto the island and, when its cosmic rays cause everything around it to age at a rapid pace, the castaways must find a way to destroy it before it kills them. Their only chance is an approaching electrical storm and even that requires striking the meteorite with lightning. My Thoughts: What happened to the island's underground gases?  When a World War II mine landed on the island, the Professor ( Russell Johnson ) insisted the mine would set off a chain reaction if it exploded because of the gas chambers. Yet that meteorite had a much larger explosion when it hit, and nothing happened. Wow, the Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr ) sure didn't know a whole lot about meteorites. In addition to referring to it as a meteor rather than the proper term, he insisted it was part of a star. I'll chalk part of it up to this show being on the air when space travel was still relatively new but am still a bit disappointed the Professor didn't at least attempt to...

Synopsis: Chicago artist Anthony McCoy creates a visual display based on the Candyman legend. As Anthony begins an unhealthy obsession with the supernatural being and spirals downward, his artwork results in the Candyman starting a new killing spree. Who's in it? The movie stars  Yahya Abdul-Mateen II ,  Teyonah Parris ,  Nathan Stewart-Jarrett ,  Vanessa Williams and Tony Todd . Review: When it comes to horror films, my wife and I very rarely find a movie we disagree about. One of the exceptions to this is the original Candyman film from the 1990s, which she loves, and I honestly wasn't a fan of. So, when she insisted on watching this sequel over the weekend, I wasn't overly enthused. However, I did watch it with her last night and, after seeing it, we were once again in full agreement with each other - this movie was not very good. I will start out by saying I do like what the filmmakers were trying to do - using a horror film to bring attention to the racism p...

Synopsis: Several years after running away from the Raccoon City orphanage, Claire Redfield returns to her former hometown to warn her brother, Chris, a police officer, of the Umbrella Corporation's experiments. He doesn't believe her until the city becomes overrun with blood-thirsty zombies. Who's in it? The movie stars Kaya Scodelario , Robbie Amell , Donal Logue , Neal McDonough and Hannah John-Kamen . Review: My wife wanted to see this movie so, since it wasn't available on any of our streaming services yet (unless we wanted to pay extra for it), I ended up going to our local library and checking it out there. We then sat down to watch it last night. To be honest, I wasn't really expecting to like this movie all that much. I like the Resident Evil franchise but am always a bit skeptical of reboots. Overall, however, I thought this ended up being a halfway decent movie. I thought the storyline was fairly solid, introducing both the characters and the main plo...

Synopsis: A group of technology-addicted teenagers are sent to a technology-free camp and go on a three-day hike in the woods. Miles away from civilization and without their cellphones, the group finds themselves in danger from a pair of mutated cannibals. Who's in it? The movie stars Julia Wieniawa-Narkiewicz , Michal Lupa ,  Wiktoria Gasiewska ,  Stanislaw Cywka and Michal Zbroja. Review: My wife and I were having a hard time deciding on a movie last night and I wound up selecting this one almost at random as a result. I wasn't really sure what to expect from the movie but it ended up being an OK choice. One thing I found I really liked about this movie was the setting. The campers were isolated from any help and, since they were supposed to be technology depraved, didn't even have a way to call for help. Since their overall survivor skills were questionable to begin with, it did make their situation seem somewhat hopeless.  I am also going to admit, the movie did m...

Synopsis: The castaways have an opportunity to be rescued when a popular rock band lands on their island seeking a quiet place to take a break. There's just one problem, the Mosquitoes ( the Wellingtons ) won't leave until they are fully rested, something that could take months. My Thoughts: This is another one of those episodes where the castaways could have been rescued simply by being a bit patient. A month honestly wasn't that long of a time to wait (it's not like they were starving or needed medical attention) but, rather than doing nothing, they just made things worse by first getting the Mosquitoes to extend their stay then leave them behind. That being said couldn't the Mosquitoes have rescued the castaways first then stayed behind? They obviously had the ability to leave anytime the helicopter returned with provisions. They could have followed through with the rescue then have the island to themselves. Everyone would be happy. This episode is a good reason...

  I brought a ramen noodle cup with me to the office this morning for lunch. However, I had to stop at the grocery store on my way in and, when I did, this item looked lot more appetizing, even though it was quite a bit more expensive at $3.99. I ended up having it for lunch as planned, and it turned out to be a good decision. I liked how easy this was to prepare. All I had to do was remove it from the wrapper and put it in the microwave for 2 minutes, making it a good choice for days when I happen to be in a hurry. The calzone also proved to be quite filling. At first, I wasn't sure if this would be the case because it didn't look overly large, but the meatballs and cheese had me filled up enough to get me through my afternoon. As far as taste goes, I had no complaints. The meatballs were well seasoned, as was the sauce. Probably the only thing I would change in this regard is adding a bit more cheese but even that was in adequate supply, at least for an easy-to-make lunch th...

Synopsis: Meemaw's ( Annie Potts ) financial success puts a strain on her relationship with Dale ( Craig T. Nelson ). Believing he will soon lose his coaching job, George ( Lance Barber ) takes a job at Dale's store while Sheldon ( Iain Armitage ) dabbles in the stock market and Missy ( Raegan Revord ) starts her own business. My Thoughts: I absolutely loved the introduction with Sheldon ( Jim Parsons ) and Amy ( Mayim Bialik ) discussing relationships and ultimately getting into a fight over comic books and whether they are considered a sound financial investment. It made me a bit sad The Big Bang Theory is no longer on the air (other than in reruns). This episode seems to be closing a TBBT plot hole regarding George. During TBBT's run, Sheldon mentioned his dad was caught stealing money from the till. This was something that didn't make a whole lot of sense when George was a football coach but, thanks to his potential career change, is starting to become a whole lot...

Synopsis: With the island under the threat of a headhunter attack, the castaways prepare to defend themselves. However, when the Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr .) is almost killed by a falling tree, he feels it is important to find a second in command. He reluctantly picks Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) and his first mate is thrust into duty sooner than expected when the Skipper goes missing. My Thoughts:  It's interesting the Skipper thinks he's the one in charge.  Not only has that never actually been established at any given point in the series (if anything, it's been challenged), Skipper has never even acted as though he was the one calling the shots. If anything, I think the Professor ( Russell Johnson ) makes more decisions for the castaways than anyone else. The timing of his second-in-command training is also questionable . With the castaways facing an imminent threat, it seems like his time would be better served focusing on their defenses. The training seems like more of a dist...

Synopsis: The castaways are thrilled when Gilligan ( Bob Denver ) reels in a crate of vegetable seeds while fishing and are even more pleased when the seeds grow at a faster rate than expected. However, what they don't know is Gilligan caught a crate of highly radioactive seeds and, by consuming the vegetables, their lives are in danger My Thoughts: Are wooden crates really that waterproof? I may have asked this question before, but it is worth asking again. Those seeds were perfectly dry despite being underwater for enough time to allow the ocean currents to get them to the lagoon. I'm sorry, but I'm just not buying that. Most, if not all, those seeds should have been ruined by the time they got to the island. Gilligan gets blamed for not noticing the seeds were radioactive but it's not like he put that lid someplace where nobody else would see it. Both the Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr ) and Professor ( Russell Johnson ) walked right past the lid shortly after he reeled in...

Synopsis: Years after the Jigsaw Killer murders were solved; a copycat killer emerges with some new deadly "games." This time, however, the killer seems to be specifically targeting members of the police department. Detective Zeke Banks is assigned to lead the investigation, but things get personal when his rookie partner is murdered, and his father appears to be the primary suspect. Who's in it? The movie stars Chris Rock , Samuel L. Jackson , Marisol Nichols , Max Minghella and Ali Johnson. Review: My wife is a big fan of the Saw movies (I am OK with them but am not as big of a fan) so, when I came across this film, which is based on the Saw franchise, I added it to our library. And, when we finally had time to watch a movie yesterday evening, this is the one I picked out. To be honest, I started out somewhat skeptical of this film. Typically, when a movie is based on a more popular film/franchise but also isn't a sequel, that leaves the door open for some wea...

Synopsis: Wealthy socialite Erika Tiffany-Smith ( Zsa Zsa Gabor ) arrives on the island with the intention of buying it and building a resort. The Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr. ) is smitten with her, but she is romantically interested in the Professor ( Russell Johnson ). My Thoughts: I think this is one of my favorite guest characters on the show. In particular, I liked the way she managed to interact with the various characters individually (something that isn't always the case), whether it was the catty exchange with her "friend" Mrs. Howell ( Natalie Schafer ) or completely ignoring Mary Ann ( Dawn Wells ) because she was distracted by the Professor. I would have liked to see more of a rivalry between the Skipper and the Professor. Considering neither was right for her, I think a rivalry could have had some potential for both comedy and maybe even a little drama. At minimum, I felt like Skipper just backed off without a fight, something that honestly seemed a little out o...