Steven Helmer Publications

Synopsis: Charles Condomine has a secret. His successful novels were actually written by his now-deceased wife, Elvira. Seven years after her death, he is now struggling to adapt one of his (her) books into a screenplay, something that is putting his current marriage to Ruth on the rocks, especially since the stress has left him impotent. Hoping to gain inspiration for a new character, he invites a recently-disgraced medium to conduct a séance in his home and she accidentally brings back his late wife's ghost. At first, this seems like a fortunate event, both because she helps him with his screenplay and eventually is able to have sex with him. However, with Elvira wanting to make the arrangement more permanent, he eventually finds his life in danger. Who's in it? The movie stars Dan Stevens , Isla Fisher , Leslie Mann , Judi Dench and Dave Johns . Review: I recently had an opportunity to watch the 1945 version of this movie and, after enjoying it more than expected, I decid...

Synopsis: When Missy ( Raegan Revord ) figures out the family secret, Mary ( Zoe Perry ) swears her and Sheldon ( Iain Armitage ) to secrecy about Georgie ( Montana Jordan ) and Mandy ( Emily Osment ) expecting a baby. However, keeping the secret proves to be a lot harder than expected. My Thoughts -  I think I owe Mary an apology. At first, I thought she seemed awfully selfish when she was insisting on Georgie and Mandy getting married. However, this episode proved it was more than just her worried about the embarrassment. Her Bible-study group was quick to abandon her when they learned the news and Pastor Jeff ( Matt Hobby ) doesn't appear to be on her side either. As she predicted, her family is being turned into pariahs. I wonder if this will be the straw that ends George's ( Lance Barber ) coaching career. The boosters were already actively trying to replace him and given their church's reaction to the news, I have to think this would be yet another reason to justify...

Synopsis: The castaways find themselves under attack from an unknown assailant possessing machine guns and grenades.   My Thoughts -  This is one of those episodes where a defined chain of command would make sense. Mr. Howell ( Jim Backus ) declaring himself general ultimately was pointless but also unnecessary. There is no reason why who is in charge in a crisis should ever be up for debate, especially since they've had this debate before. The castaways sure went through a lot of effort to develop a nurse's corps and a USO performance but didn't make much of an effort to actually defend themselves from the attacker. It seems like putting up some sort of barricade and arming themselves (even with primitive weapons) would have been the best first choice. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Mrs. Howell ( Natalie Schafer )? The way she put Mr. Howell in his place after he claimed to be her superior was fantastic. I kind of feel like, had the show not kept to the traditio...

Synopsis: When Eleanor Corbin is arrested after running almost naked through a park, she claims to have amnesia about what happened to her prior to the event and her half-sister, Olga, hires Perry Mason to protect Eleanor's interests. Things become more complicated when Douglas Hepner, the man Eleanor claims to have married two weeks earlier, is found dead with Eleanor's gun hidden nearby. The district attorney seems to have an airtight case against her, and with Eleanor refusing to give up on her obviously fake amnesia story, Mason isn't convinced she isn't guilty. Review: I recently regained my enthusiasm for Perry Mason novels and, despite giving myself a short break by reading an Agatha Christie mystery first, made sure to check out this book while at the library. To be honest, I wasn't sure I would enjoy this book at first, but it ended up being one of Mason's most intriguing cases. I think the thing I liked best about this book was the fact Mason himse...

Synopsis: When an experimental robot lands on the island, the castaways try to program it to help with their rescue. However, when they are unable to get it to help even with simple chores, rescuing them seems to be even beyond its reach. My Thoughts: The Skipper ( Alan Hale, Jr. ) not believing in a lucky rabbit's foot seems a bit out of character. He has to be one of the most superstitious characters in television history but still draws the line at Gilligan's ( Bob Denver ) good luck charm? This is the same guy who quickly blamed thefts from the supply hut on voodoo. The Skipper and Professor ( Russell Johnson ) seriously did not see that robot standing there? Gilligan couldn't have walked away more than a few dozen feet in a straight line before bumping into it. I think a pair of castaways need to get their eyes checked. Gilligan at least had an excuse; his nose was buried in comic book. The Air Force sure gave up on searching for their missing robot awfully quick. ...

Synopsis: Andy ( Andy Griffith ) scores an invite to visit the exclusive Esquire Club and an excited Barney ( Don Knotts ) tags along with him with the hopes they both will be accepted as members. However, the overzealous deputy does not make a great first impression with the club's members. My Thoughts: I loved this episode's opening sequence, with Barney trying to hide the fact he was sleeping on the job and Andy doing his best to hide the fact he knew. Later in the episode, his reaction to Aunt Bee ( Frances Bavier ) tying up the phone was equally funny. Stuff like that is why this show just wasn't as good after Don Knotts left. There Andy goes neglecting his duties again. Even Floyd ( Howard McNear ) questioned who would be running the sheriff's office with both Andy and Barney out of town. I get it, Mayberry doesn't have a lot of crime, other than maybe the local town drunk needing a place to sleep things off, but that doesn't mean there couldn't be ...

Synopsis : When Barney ( Don Knotts ) is friendly with an attractive new woman ( Beverly Tyler ), Thelma Lou ( Betty Lynn ) is upset, and they get into a fight. Since Thelma Lou isn't talking to him, he decides to have dinner with the other woman and her father ( Jackie Coogan ) and is surprised when she claims they are now engaged. My Thoughts -  What does Thelma Lou see in Barney? OK, I get it, it's not like there are a whole lot of eligible bachelors around Mayberry, at least none that aren't any worse than Barney is, unless you count Andy ( Andy Griffith ). However, when has he ever shown he deserves to be in a relationship? Even before this incident, he was bragging about his side piece, Juanita, from the diner. She'd probably be better off being single. Barney criticizes the new woman for parking in the sheriff's spot but was I the only one who saw he parked in front of a hydrant? On top of not parking the car where it belonged, that seemed more than a litt...

Synopsis: When Andy ( Andy Griffith ) pulls over a woman driver ( Jean Hagan ) for doing 70 m.p.h. in a 45-m.p.h. zone, she challenges the $10 fine and his role as justice of the peace. Andy agrees to let her appeal to Mayor Pike ( Dick Elliott ) despite the jail not being equipped to house a female prisoner overnight. However, his case against her begins to fall apart as she charms his three witnesses, Barney ( Don Knotts ), Floyd ( Howard McNear ) and Opie ( Ron Howard ) into testifying on her behalf. My Thoughts: I wonder if Andy should have been investigated for misappropriation of county property . I really find it hard to believe the taxpayers are perfectly fine with him using the county's only patrol car to go fishing, especially since he had his son, his deputy, and the local barber with him. This, of course, raises another question - what would have happened if had been an emergency? All of Mayberry's law enforcement was out fishing and, at least from appearances, he...

Synopsis: When the wealthy Captain Joseph Trevelyan is murdered, his nephew, James Pearson is the obvious suspect. However, Emily Trefusis believes her fiancé is both too weak and too stupid to have committed the crime and, with the help of an ambitious journalist, Charles Enderby, searches for the real killer.  The book is also known as The Sittaford Mystery. Review: It had been a while since I last read an Agatha Christie book and, since I knew I would have some extra reading time the next couple of weeks, decided to check this one out from the library. I wasn't really sure what to expect from it, but it ended up being one of my favorites. I was a huge fan of this murder mystery. The victim was a guy who seemingly had no enemies and, while his estranged family, which was to inherit his money, had a motive, most of them didn't have an opportunity to commit it, especially since he lived in a community that was small enough to notice any strangers. The only exception was Jame...

Synopsis: After serving in the Middle East, Jay returns to his hometown on Independence Day only to discover a mysterious "flu" is quickly spreading. When his friends become infected and turn into zombies, he teams up with his former sergeant, who believes the disease is the result of a government conspiracy. Who's in it? The movie stars Scott Baxter , Chad Bishop , Jamie Bernadette , Janet Roth and James Hutchinson. Review: I was in the mood for a horror film to watch with my wife last night and, after considering about a dozen other films, I wound up picking this one because the plot at least sounded somewhat different. Unfortunately, about 15 minutes into this film, it became pretty obvious it was a mistake. As is often the case with too many horror movies/thrillers, the film actually had a halfway decent concept that was absolutely ruined by poor execution. Zombie movies are a dime a dozen but the idea of a zombie virus that is spread by the protagonist (who is onl...

Synopsis: The castaways have an opportunity to escape the island after finding the Minnow's life raft. However, Gilligan's (Bob Denver ) discovery of a gold mine on the island leaves the castaways with a dilemma as they all develop gold fever. My Thoughts: How did Gilligan and Mr. Howell ( Jim Backus ) get out of that cave? It seemed fairly deep with no signs of another way out and it wasn't as though they had any ropes or vines nearby. They weren't even dirty when they did get out. I was surprised to see Ginger ( Tina Louise ) and Mary Ann ( Dawn Wells ) fishing. This show normally has some firm and outdated gender roles on this series, I would have thought it would be one of the men. In fact, I'm a little curious why it wasn't Gilligan considering he apparently had enough free time to be Mr. Howell's caddy. In fact, now I'm wondering if they actually managed to catch any fish. This episode has one of the show's funniest sight gags. Mr. Howell s...

Synopsis : After finding out Georgie ( Montana Jordan ) is going to be a father, George ( Lance Barber ) and Mary ( Zoe Perry ) insist on meeting Mandy ( Emily Osment ). However, Mary's insistence on the couple getting married creates a tense situation that brings her own marriage troubles out in the open. My Thoughts: I am going to start out by once again praising how this show portrays George. A lot of sitcoms give the dad characters a bad break by making them seem a bit stupid. George, in comparison, does have quite a bit of common sense and, for all the credit Mary gets, he might be the one holding that family together. His reaction to Georgie's news versus her reaction is a good example of this. She, mostly out of embarrassment, wants a wedding while George could easily tell that was a bad idea. I'm wondering if maybe they should have just told Missy ( Raegan Revord ) and Sheldon ( Iain Armitage ) the truth. On one hand, I kind of understand why they didn't tell ...

Synopsis: Deep in the jungle, a scientist experiments with a combination of biochemicals and voodoo in an effort to create a superhuman being that will mother a perfect, unkillable, race that he will control. When a treasure-hunting group stumbles upon the village, the scientist thinks the group's ruthless female leader would be the perfect subject for his experiment. Who's in it? The movie stars Marla English , Tom Conway , Mike Connors , Lance Fuller and Mary Ellen Kay. Review: Whenever I have heard someone talking about this movie, it is usually in reference to it being "the worst movie ever made." I was intrigued by this so, when I had an opportunity to finally watch it, I gave it a try. The description of it being the worst movie ever is far from accurate, I have definitely seen worse. However, I will admit, it was pretty bad. To tell you the truth, the overall concept actually isn't a terrible one. In fact, it's actually kind of hard to go wrong with...

Synopsis: Jack Robinson, an American salesman, travels to his English girlfriend, Cynthia's, family estate to ask for permission to marry her. He quickly learns her family is full of eccentric members, including a cousin who thinks she's a vampire and an uncle who creates strange inventions and studies poisonous spiders. When her family members begin to die, Jack realizes there is a murderer in the house looking to inherit the family fortune and his own life is in danger. Who's in it? The movie stars Pat Boone , Erica Rogers , Dennis Price , Andree Melly and Valentine Dyall. Review: I came across this movie yesterday evening and, curious about it, decided to add it to my library. I wound up watching it this morning before coming into work and it was admittedly better than I was expecting. Since the movie was classified as a thriller/comedy, I was a bit concerned I wouldn't enjoy it, mostly because most films struggle to pull off both. However, this film managed to f...

Synopsis : Laurel Welk is an aspiring fashion designer who, needing money and not wanting to move back home with her parents, takes a job as a personal assistant for Danny Holland, an injured professional football player. She is determined to succeed but is hindered both by her lack of football knowledge and Danny's reluctance to have a female assistant. Who's in it? The movie stars Emily Kinney , John Reardon , Hayley Sales , Luisa d' Oliveira and Victor Zinck Jr. Review : I came across this movie a few weeks ago and, while I originally intended on watching it with my wife, wound up watching it last night after she went to bed (mostly because I was bored, and I couldn't find anything else). Overall, it ended up being what I expected it to be, both in a good way and a bad way. First of all, I am going to start out by saying I loved Emily Kinney in her starring role as Laurel. She was always one of my favorites from The Walking Dead and played this character perfectly....

Synopsis : After moving back to her childhood home in Oregon, teacher Julia Meadows becomes increasingly concerned about Lucas, one of her students, because she believes he is being abused by his father. What she doesn't know is Lucas is hiding a terrifying supernatural secret about his family. Who's in it? The movie stars Keri Russell , Jesse Plemons , Jeremy T. Thomas , Graham Greene and Scott Haze .   Review : I didn't plan on checking out another movie from our library last week but, remembering my wife and I each had a 3-day weekend, changed my mind and picked out one from the new release section. To be honest, this movie didn't really win me over from the description but, figuring it would at least give us a few jump scares, I picked it anyway. As it turns out, I should have just left it on the shelf. To be fair, the premise of the movie wasn't a horrible one and, at minimum, it did have a halfway decent mystery about what happened to Lucas' (Thomas) fam...

Synopsis: While stopping at the courthouse in Riverside for some routine paperwork, Perry Mason helps an inexperienced attorney gain an acquittal on a theft charge for Evelyn Bagby, a redheaded waitress who aspires to be an actress. Mason takes things further and tries to get Evelyn a generous settlement from the actress who made the wrongful complaint but eventually needs to defend her against a murder charge. Review: I grabbed this Perry Mason book while at the library a couple days ago. Normally, it takes me at least a week to get through a novel like this but, once I started reading this, I had a hard time putting it back down and finished it in near record time. The case itself honestly wasn't anything special. It wasn't too hard to figure out who the real killer was or their motivation for doing it. However, the courtroom strategy employed by Mason made the book worth reading. Actually, to be honest, there were times when I wondered if maybe Mason's client was guil...

Synopsis : A year after his wife's brutal murder, a still-grieving Det. Will Ruiney, with the help of his ex-partner, Ray Archer, and investigative journalist Christi Davies, ends up investigating a serial killer that is using his victims to play a sick game of Hangman. With a new murder every 24 hours, Will must figure out how the killer connects to either his or Ray's past. Who's in it? The movie stars Al Pacino , Karl Urban , Brittany Snow , Sarah Shahi and Joe Anderson . Review: I came across this movie on one of my streaming platforms about a week ago and, after seeing I would need to pay extra for it, decided to pick up a copy for free at the library. My wife and I watched it last night and it turned out to be worth the 6-block drive. I'll start out by saying the film does require you to ignore some glaring questions about police procedure, including the decision to bring in a retired cop as a consultant, allowing a journalist to walk around active crime scenes,...

Synopsis: As a child, Chris Multerer watched professional wrestling whenever he had a chance and, as an adult, had an opportunity to turn his love for pro wrestling into a 10-year career as a "jobber," a wrestler whose job it was to make the stars look good. In this autobiography, he shares the highlights from his career. Review: I didn't plan on checking out a non-fiction book when I was at the library. In fact, the only thing I had planned on checking out was another Perry Mason mystery. However, while waiting for my kids to get their books, I happened to see this one on display and decided to get it. I don't know if I ever was a die-hard professional wrestling fan and I certainly don't watch it very often today. However, growing up, I did enjoy watching matches from the American Wrestling Association and World Wrestling Federation, at least on occasion.  I have also read multiple autobiographies from well-known wrestlers and was intrigued about a book written...

Synopsis: When William Reynolds, an assassin who is responsible for hiding the illegal activities of the British East India Trading Company, decides to retire, his employer attempts to murder him and frame him for their crimes. He escapes and, while impersonating a reverend, falls in love with Charlotte, the niece of the man who tried to kill him. When his real identity and past is revealed to her, he follows her to America hoping to redeem himself and ultimately ends up needing to thwart a plot to stop the Declaration of Independence from being signed. Who's in it? The movie stars Andrew Cheney , Kara Killmer , John Rhys-Davies , Alan Madlane and Charlie Newhart . Review: I came across this film the other day and, while I wasn't sure I would enjoy it based on the premise, I noticed it had Kara Killmer, who I am familiar with because of her role in Chicago Fire (one of my wife's favorites) and, because of that, decided to check it out from the library. My wife and I wat...

Synopsis: While Georgie ( Montana Jordan ) struggles with the baby news, Sheldon ( Iain Armitage ) copes with the death of his hero, Isaac Asimov. Missy ( Raegan Revord ) tries babysitting for the first time. My Thoughts: At first, I wasn't a big fan of the Isaac Asimov storyline . However, by the end of the episode, it was probably my favorite part. The thing I liked most about it was how the writers used it to give us a glimpse of what Sheldon's grandfather was like. He apparently didn't just encourage Sheldon, he might have been an older version of him, making it easy to understand why he was so important to Sheldon when he was younger. I feel like Georgie was a bit unfair when it came to his dad . I'm not saying George ( Lance Barber ) doesn't have a temper. But, at no point in this series has he been portrayed as a violent person. The scene with Georgie imagining George destroying the cash register was funny but just seemed quite a bit out of character. Speaki...

Synopsis : To attract more visitors to Mayberry, Andy ( Andy Griffith ) suggests picking a stranger to be the town's guest of honor at its Founder's Day celebration. However, this plan nearly backfires when the person they choose ( Jay Novello ) turns out to be a pickpocket. My Thoughts: So, I am admittedly a bit confused. The whole point of this guest of honor thing was to attract outsiders to Mayberry. Yet, in the very same episode, not a minute after coming up with the idea, Andy had to swear in three extra deputies because they were expecting out-of-towners at the Founder's Day celebration. It sounds to me like getting visitors really wasn't that much of a problem. And about those deputies. As many times as Andy has had to ask for additional help, you would think he would make some effort to at least provide citizens with some minimum training, so they are somewhat prepared when he needs them. I mean, I understand it is usually for something like crowd control, but...

Synopsis: The mousy Myra Davenport and her domineering aunt, Sara Ansel, approach Perry Mason with a problem - Myra's husband, Ed, is dying and has written a letter to the district attorney falsely accusing her of poisoning him. Mason reluctantly agrees to help her, but things become even more complicated when Ed is declared dead, is later seen climbing out a motel window, and his body is found in a shallow grave sometime later. Further complicating things is Myrna is also accused of poisoning her cousin over an inheritance and her aunt, believing she is guilty, has already given damning testimony to the prosecution. Review: After enjoying my last Perry Mason novel , I figured I would stick with the genre the next time I visited the library and picked out this book. To be honest, I wasn't sure if I would enjoy it all that much, mostly because some of the chapters were very long (one of them was 58 pages) and I have a habit of losing interest in a book if I can't take reg...

Synopsis: Overwhelmed by the number of customers in his barber shop, Floyd ( Howard McNear ) lets a second barber ( Herb Vigran ) set up a second chair and is thrilled by the extra business his new partner is bringing in. However, the new barber is actually using Floyd's shop as a front for his gambling business. My Thoughts: I kind of have to agree with Opie ( Ron Howard ) , he didn't look like he needed a haircut to me. Either Aunt Bee ( Frances Bavier ) was just trying to get rid of him for a couple hours or the show was just trying to find an excuse for Andy ( Andy Griffith ) to be in the barbershop when the new guy arrived. Andy can be kind of pushy. I'm not sure Floyd really wanted a second chair but, even if he didn't, Andy sure made sure he didn't have much say in it. I mean, really, it's not like he owns any stake in that barbershop. What gives him the right to negotiate a deal for Floyd? Seriously, what an ass. And he seriously didn't think to ch...

  I had been eying this product at Kwik Trip for a few weeks now and, needing something for dinner last night, decided to finally purchase it (though, admittedly, my first plan was to get their taco meat, which ended up being sold out). After trying it, my opinion wound up being mixed. There were a couple things I really liked about this product. One of the main ones was the price. A 1-pound package cost $3.49. A pound of hamburger currently costs about $5, and that's only if I happen to find it on sale. When you add in the cost of a can of sloppy Joe sauce , this product ends up costing half as much as the way we usually make sloppy Joes. I also found I liked the convenience. Since the meat is already cooked, all I had to do was warm it up in the microwave for a couple minutes rather than frying the burger, draining the grease, and adding the can of sauce. The pre-cooked meat also meant I was getting what I was purchasing, it didn't cook down into a smaller quantity. Taste-wis...

Synopsis: The morning after watching a pair of cannibalistic twins commit several murders, Zosia is being held at a local jail in a cell next to the two men she thought she had killed while escaping. When the local police sergeant takes her back to their house in an effort to figure out what happened, she is infected by the same meteorite that changed the twins and begins her own killing spree, not realizing she will also eventually find love. Who's in it? The movie stars  Mateusz Wieclawek ,  Zofia Wichlacz ,  Julia Wieniawa-Narkiewicz ,  Wojciech Mecwaldowski and  Andrzej Grabowski . Review: I hadn't planned on watching a movie last night and, instead, my wife and I were going to get caught up on our shows. However, our YouTube TV app was temporarily unavailable on our PS4, and I wound up having to choose Netflix instead. I wound up picking this movie because I didn't want to spend half the night looking for another choice. While the first film wasn't an...

Synopsis : After years of traveling as a circuit judge, Jim Scott finally has a permanent post and is ready to settle down with the woman he loves. However, Scott, who refuses to wear a gun, is scheduled to sentence a killer to die and is facing intimidation tactics from the convicted man's powerful family. On top of it, the local sheriff is having an affair with his intended bride and proves to be less than reliable. Who's in it? The movie stars Fred MacMurray , Joan Weldon , John Ericson , Robert Middleton and Marie Windsor . Review : It had been a while since I had seen a Fred MacMurray movie so, when I came across this one a few days ago, I added it to my library. I had a chance to watch it this morning and found I enjoyed it a lot more than I was expecting. On the surface, this is a normal western, complete with gun-wearing bad guys and cowboy fist fights. However, as the movie progressed, I realized it was a lot more to it than just the stereotypical shoot-'em-up f...

Synopsis : A photographer that specializes in baby portraits poses as a detective to impress a beautiful woman and, a few days later, winds up in jail for murder. As he faces execution, he tells a group of reporters how he got there. Who's in it? The movie stars Bob Hope , Dorothy Lamour , Peter Lorre , Ann Doran and Lon Chaney, Jr . Review: I don't watch many Bob Hope movies but, on occasion, come across one that looks somewhat unique. That was the case with this film, which I happened to find this morning and, after watching it, I have to say it was a good choice. From a comedy standpoint, this film was pretty much what I would expect from a Bob Hope film. There is some slapstick, but the best parts are the result of Hope's quick wit. My favorite scenes had to be that weird golf game at the sanitarium and the way he escaped his pursuers by convincing numerous women in an apartment building he was their lover. I also have to say I loved Lon Chaney Jr.'s character in ...

Synopsis: After regaining control of the government, the New Founding Fathers of America immediately reinstate the annual Purge. As has been the case, the event was scheduled to last just 12 hours, however a large insurrection movement arises, determined to have a "Forever Purge" that primarily targets immigrants, forcing a small group of Texas ranchers to try to find safety on the other side of the Mexican border. Who's in it? The movie stars Ana de la Reguera , Tenoch Huerta , Josh Lucas , Cassidy Freeman and Leven Rambin . Review: To tell you the truth, I've never been a huge fan of the Purge movies. However, I saw a copy of this at the library on Friday and, since it didn't cost me anything to watch it, picked it up. After watching it with my wife last night, I have to admit it was better than expected. The thing I found I liked best about this movie is the events were something I've always thought should have happened a couple movies ago. With all the...