Steven Helmer Publications

I haven't been getting out at lunch as much as I'd prefer, both because of uncooperative weather and because of very hungry mosquitos. However, I did get out today, braving the humidity and bugs, and got a few photographs. Here are some of them.

Synopsis: After a robbery attempt goes horribly wrong, a murder mystery train goes off the rails and its passengers crash into a river. While they survived the crash, they find they are being hunted by a creature living under the murky water. The creature continues to stalk them even after they make it to shore. Who's in it? The movie stars Lance Henriksen ,  Dwayne Standridge ,  Giovannie Espiritu ,  Catherine Healy and  Amanda Mayfield . Review: I came across D-Railed on Amazon Prime a couple days ago and decided to add it to my list because it looked somewhat interesting. My wife and I ended up watching it yesterday evening and, unfortunately, it wasn't anywhere near as good as I had hoped. The movie could be summarized in two sentences. The movie is way too dark. The film is way too predictable.  I'm sure there were some scary scenes in this movie but because a good chunk of it takes place in the water/at night, it was hard to really see what was going ...

Synopsis: Dr. Elsa Reinhardt seeks to use gene splicing to create the perfect human and thinks she has finally found the ideal subject in baseball player Felix Rosa. However, the experiment, which uses DNA from a wolf and killer whale, instead turns Rosa into a monster. To make matters worse, a sharktopus has arrived in the area and is already killing humans too, leading to a fight between the two hybrids. Who's in it? The movie stars Casper Van Dien , Catherine Oxenberg , Jennifer Wegner , Akari Endo and  Jorge Eduardo de los Santos . Review: After being horribly disappointed by Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda , I wasn't overly anxious to see this third movie in the series. However, my wife wanted to watch a movie last night, I didn't have anything else lined up and didn't want to spend half the evening looking for something, so we gave Sharktopus vs Whalewolf a try. It ended up being exactly what I expected it to be...bad.  The movie had pretty much the same issue as the...

Synopsis: A team of criminals is hired to abduct Abigail, the young daughter of an unknown wealthy man with the promise of being paid a percentage of the $50 million in ransom money. They hold Abigail in a remote mansion with the expectation of it being a simple 24-hour job. Instead, they soon learn the mansion is an elaborate and unescapable trap and their hostage is really a centuries-old vampire. Who's in it? The movie stars Melissa Barrera , Kathryn Newton , Alisha Weir , Dan Stevens and William Catlett. Review: I came across Abigail on Peacock a few days ago and, while I was concerned the trailer gave away too much of the movie for me to be surprised by it, I gave it a chance last night. It turned out to be a great choice. I'll start out by saying that group of criminals had to be some of the dumbest people I've ever seen in a horror movie. Not only were there red flags to begin with, starting with the whole "hand over your cell phones" thing, they still ...

Synopsis: Not long after the original sharktopus was destroyed its offspring is living in an aquarium, where biologist Lorena is attempting to figure out a way to control its aggressive nature. When a scientist creates another hybrid, combining pterodactyl DNA with a barracuda, only to have the experiment fall under the control of a hacker, he attempts to hijack the sharktopus to fight it, only to unleash two terrors in the ocean. Who's in it? The movie stars Robert Carradine , Rib Hillis , Katie Savoy , Akari Endo and Hensy Pichardo. Review: My wife and I enjoyed Sharktopus more than expected, enough for me to be interested in seeing the sequel, Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda . We finally watched it tonight and not to sound a bit too much like my teenage daughter, thought it was just "meh." Sharktopus wasn't a great movie, just better than expected. As a result, my expectations for this sequel weren't set very high. However, even then, it failed to meet them.  My ...

Just a short video of one of the crabs we saw at Long Beach, Mississippi last week while out on vacation. We were surprised to find them since we hadn't seen anything bigger than a silver dollar-sized hermit crab the first two days we were there. Suddenly, there were dozens of these crawling around near the shore. Here is a photo of one of them as well:

Synopsis: Nicole Sands helped her dad create a shark/octopus hybrid for the United States military and can control it remotely using electrical impulses. However, while testing their creation in the ocean waters near Mexico, an accident results in the creature being freed. It is now up to her and Andy, a former employee fired by her father, to stop the creature's killing spree while attempting to keep it alive. Who's in it? The movie stars  Kerem Bürsin ,  Sara Malakul Lane , Eric Roberts , Héctor Jiménez and Liv Boughn. Review:   Sharktopus has been out for some time and while I've known about it, I've always been a bit reluctant to watch it. However, I was having a hard time choosing a movie last night and figured it couldn't be much worse than some other shark movies we've watched recently so my wife and I finally gave it a chance. It ended up surprising me. Look, I'm not going to pretend this is a good movie by any measure. The premise is farfetched....

Synopsis: Three years after saving the world in Summerville, Oklahoma, Callie Spengler, her two children, Trevor and Phoebe, and her boyfriend, Gary, have relocated to New York City resurrected the Ghostbusting business her father helped found in the 1980s, much to the chagrin of NYC mayor and long-time Ghostbuster antagonist Walter Peck. They soon find themselves once again needing to save the world when an ancient artifact containing an ancient god looking to wipe out the human race by freezing them to death is accidentally opened. Who's in it? The movie stars Paul Rudd , McKenna Grace , Carrie Coon , Finn Wolfhard , Dan Aykroyd , Annie Potts , Bill Murray and Ernie Hudson . Review: I had some serious doubts when Hollywood decided to reboot the Ghostbuster franchise in 2021 but I enjoyed Ghostbusters: Afterlife more than expected and was excited to see Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire as a result. I didn't get an opportunity to see it at the theater as I had hoped but did wa...

Synopsis: Sophia and her team are researching sharks by the Great Pacific garbage patch when they discover the shark they have tagged, Lilith, has grown to an unusual size. Lilith also turns violent and wipes out her team, which includes her husband, leaving Sophia traumatized. Three years later, while working at an aquarium in Paris, France, Sophia is approached by a group of environmentalists who have been tracking tagged sharks to help keep them safe and discovered Lilith's signal. Only, instead of being in the Pacific Ocean, the enormous shark is swimming in the River Seine, putting the citizens of Paris in danger just a few days before a triathlon is scheduled to be held by a mayor who refuses to cancel the event. Who's in it? The movie stars  Bérénice Bejo , Nassim Lyes ,  Léa Léviant ,  Sandra Parfait and  Anne Marivin. Review: I had heard good things about Under Paris and while the whole killer shark genre seems to be a bit overdone, seemed somewhat intr...

  While on vacation in Long Beach, Mississippi this past week, we decided to take a break from the ocean and go up the road to Gulfport and visit the Mississippi Aquarium. Overall, it ended up being a good choice. A couple pieces of advice to start, make sure to dress for the weather because a good chunk of it is outdoors. Also, make sure to buy your tickets in advance on their website to save money. You'll also want to have a little extra for parking ($5 for two hours). Our favorite section of the aquarium had to be the petting zoo area on the top floor. It was a great opportunity to touch as well as see a variety of sea creatures and we even got a kick out of how some of them seemed to actively try to be petted, almost as though they were puppies.  Another cool feature is the tunnel that lets you emerge yourself and be surrounded by the sea creatures. There's very little that is cooler than a shark or ray swimming above your head while still being safe.  In addition to ...

  I was shocked to discover it had been 10 years since my family and I took an out-of-state vacation and decided it was time to go to the beach. After a lot of consideration, we settled on Long Beach, Mississippi, based on the travel time by car and I reserved two rooms at the Inn at Long Beach . We enjoyed most things about Long Beach but as it turns out, we agreed the Inn was the thing we enjoyed the most. This hotel was a little more expensive than some of the others we considered, costing a little over $1000 for three nights (again, for two rooms). However, it was one of the few things on the trip I could honestly say was worth the money. First of all, the rooms were huge. I'm not exaggerating when I say they were larger than some apartments I've been in. They also had just the right mix of luxury and modernity while also having a comfortable bed. The last isn't always a given at hotels. Usually, my wife can't sleep because I can't get comfortable and start snor...

My family and I had our first beach vacation in years this past week, choosing to go to Long Beach, Mississippi and spending some time on the Gulf Coast. It was hot and humid, and we had to contend with quite a few jellyfish but overall. Plus, the community is still showing the effects of Hurricane Katrina with plenty of vacant lots and piers that are damaged to the point they can't be used. However, it was still a good time overall.  Here are some of the nature photos I took while I was there. Apologies in advance, I don't do a lot of beach photography and my camera doesn't have a sun filter option and the lens kept fogging over so some of these don't have quite the quality I hoped for.

Synopsis: A tsunami destroys a coastal city and leaves a group of survivors inside a grocery store. Their attempts to escape the flooded building are hindered by a pair of 12-foot sharks that kill anything in the water. To make matters worse, the tsunami interrupted an armed robbery attempt, and the armed criminal is still alive. Who's in it? The movie stars Xavier Samuel , Sharni Vinson , Adrian Pang , Yuwu Qi and Phoebe Tonkin. Review: My wife and I took a break from packing for our vacation and decided to watch a movie while it was storming outside. We went through a few before settling on Bait , mostly because we figured it is hard to mess up a shark movie (even though we've seen plenty of examples proving it can still happen). Overall, it ended up being a decent choice. The premise of the movie is simple but entertaining. You do have to suspend some reality when it comes to the sharks and the fact they seemed to be killing just for the sake of killing, but there was ju...

Synopsis : When his 18-year-old son, Jason, is sentenced to a minimum of 10 years in federal prison on a questionable drug possession charge, John Matthews, an owner of a construction company, makes a deal with the federal prosecutor to go undercover and help nab a drug dealer in exchange for a reduced sentence for his son. However, when the deal is changed, and John must now go after an even larger drug lord, he finds his family in danger. Who's in it? The movie stars Dwayne Johnson , Susan Sarandon , Jon Bernthal , Rafi Gavron , Barry Pepper and Benjamin Bratt . Review: My wife and I came across Snitch on IFC earlier this afternoon and put it on more or less as background noise while we sat on the couch. It turned out to be more interesting than expected, however, and we soon found ourselves almost late for a planned event as a result. My first impression of this movie was it was the least actiony Dwayne Johnson movie I've ever seen. Other than one gunfight scene about mi...

Synopsis: In 1966, after being arrested for burning down a house and having no memory of why she did it, Kristen is sent to North Bend Psychiatric Hospital in Oregon. While there, she begins seeing the ghost of a former patient and realizes other patients in the ward have been disappearing, likely victims of the spirit. To make matters worse, the hospital staff seems to know and doesn't care. Who's in it? The movie stars Amber Heard ,  Mamie Gummer , Danielle Panabaker , Laura-Leigh and Jared Harris . Review: After being disappointed by the last two horror movies we watched, my wife and I looked for one to snap that streak. I picked The Ward mostly because I recognized some of the actresses in it and because it was directed by horror movie legend John Carpenter. Overall, it was definitely an improvement over the previous two films and an OK choice overall. The premise is an intriguing one. In addition to the mystery surrounding the vengeful spirit, there was also a mystery a...

Synopsis: Looking to start out summer vacation from college on the right foot, Heather invites her friends to a lake house for a 1980s-themed murder mystery party. However, soon after arriving her guests become targets for a real serial killer. Who's in it? The movie stars  Ashlyn McCain , Bridget Linda Froemming ,  Will Horton ,  Scott Tepperman  and  H. Marie Review: A couple days ago, I gave my wife a choice between Cruel Summer and Monsternado   since they were right next to each other on Amazon Prime . She chose the latter, and it turned out to be an awful movie. As a result, I decided to give this one a chance to see what we missed and as it turns out, it wasn't any better. The reality is it really shouldn't be that difficult to make a decent slasher movie. It doesn't need to have a complex plot. The acting doesn't need to be Oscar worthy. All you really need is a believable scenario, a cold-blooded killer and a reasonable amount of execution. Wit...

So, a bit of a funny story. I almost got run over on my walk today. I had thought the deer I had photographed on multiple occasions earlier this year had moved on because I hadn't seen her then, as I was walking up one of the trails, she popped out from behind some of the tall grass a few feet in front of me. By the time this all registered, she was charging right at me and, had she not changed directions would have knocked me right over. Fortunately, that didn't happen for both our sakes (I'm sure I would have gotten the worst of it but didn't want to risk her getting hurt either). Needless to say, I didn't get a photo of her this time around. However, I also didn't drop my camera or die so I'll consider it a win. Anyway, here are some of the (less exciting) photos I did get.  

Synopsis: A shift in the Earth's magnetic field results in a massive tornado approaching the American East Coast from the Bermuda Triangle. If the storm itself isn't damaging enough, the tornado contains a variety of prehistoric creatures ranging from giant alligators to pterodactyls.  Who's in it? The movie stars Derek Miller , Chloe Karr , Jase Rivers , May Kelly and Danielle Scott . Review: I came across Monsternado on Amazon Prime a couple days ago and while the title didn't exactly instill confidence in me as far as the film was concerned, my wife and I did enjoy the campiness of the Sharknado films and decided to give it a try. Yeah, that proved to be a mistake. Where should I begin? I guess, first off, there are low budget films, then there are films that are so low budget, they don't even bother to hide the fact they are filmed in a foreign country when they are supposed to take place in the United States. I'm not exactly sure which American city t...

That humidity made me feel a bit short of breath at times and the mosquitoes were nasty at certain points, but I managed to get a walk with my camera in today while it wasn't raining for a change. Here are some of the photos I took.

Synopsis: While trying to catch up to Woody, who had been walking through the California desert in search of air for a spare tire, a group of friends have car troubles outside Slausen's Lost Oasis, a tourist trap featuring a museum of mannequins that is no longer in business because of a recently built highway. The owner of the closed business, Mr. Slausen, offers to help the group but they soon find themselves under attack by a man dressed as various mannequins. Who's in it? The movie stars Chuck Connors , Jocelyn Jones , Tanya Roberts , Robin Sherwood and Jon Van Ness. Review: My wife was busy making a wedding dress for a friend most of the day yesterday but took a break from it with enough time for us to watch a movie. I came across Tourist Trap a couple days ago on Amazon Prime and since I'm familiar with both Chuck Connors and Tanya Roberts, decided to watch it. Overall, I thought it was a decent choice. I think my wife described this movie best by saying it is a ...

Synopsis: Two days after a spelunking expedition with her friends goes horribly wrong, a hysterical Sarah is found by authorities, covered in blood and unable to tell them what happened. Determined to get to the truth and not knowing the trauma Sarah had gone through, a local sheriff insists she return to the caves with him and a rescue party, only to discover the same subterranean humanoids she had escaped. Who's in it? The movie stars Shauna Macdonald , Michael J. Reynolds , Jessika Williams , Natalie Mendoza and Anna Skellern . Review: Since my wife and I had enjoyed the first movie and it was still reasonably early in the evening, we decided to watch the sequel, The Descent: Part 2 last night as well. While not as enjoyable as the first film, it proved to be a good selection as well. I'll start out by saying the first part of this movie is extremely confusing, especially if you watch it immediately following the first film. The beginning of this movie and the end of th...

Synopsis: Still grieving her husband and daughter's deaths following a car accident, the thrill-seeking Sarah joins her former friend, Juno, and a group of other women on a spelunking adventure. However, instead of exploring a well-known cavern as they are led to believe, they enter an unexplored cave system, only to have nobody know where they are when they are trapped by a cave in. Making matters worse is they are not alone. Who's in it? The movie stars Shauna Macdonald , Natalie Mendoza , Alex Reid , Saskia Mulder and MyAnna Buring . Review: Given the choice between 60s night at karaoke or staying home and watching a movie my wife (who was tired from 50s night at karaoke the night before) chose the latter and decided she'd pick the movie as well. She decided on The Descent even though she had watched it by herself some time ago. As it turns out, it was a good choice. Overlooking the fact this is one of those movies that relies on at least one of the characters being...

Synopsis: Professional wrestler and promoter Fritz Von Erich seeks to build a wrestling dynasty with his four sons, Kevin, Kerry, David and Michael. However, every time the patriarch's dream seems to be coming true, tragedy strikes, adding credibility to a rumored family curse. Who's in it? The movie stars Zach Efron , Lily James , Jeremy Allen White , Maura Tierney and Holt McCallany. Review: I've been interested in seeing this movie since it first came out, mostly because I am familiar with the Von Erich family and the so-called curse that plagued them. However, since I knew it was the kind of movie my wife probably wouldn't like, I held off until I had some alone time to watch it. That finally happened this afternoon and, after seeing it, my overall opinion is mixed. The movie does a fairly decent job telling the family story, though probably with some dramatic liberties along the way. After seeing it, I was left with an understanding about why the family's su...

Synopsis: Even though many think he should retire, Axel Foley continues to work for the Detroit Police Department, occasionally leaving a path of destruction in his wake. When he learns his estranged attorney daughter, Jane, is in danger because her client is being framed for murder by a dirty cop, he returns to Beverly Hills to protect her and discovers his long-time friend, Billy Rosewood, now a private investigator helping Jane, has gone missing. Who's in it? The movie stars Eddie Murphy , Judge Reinhold , Joseph Gordon-Levitt , Taylour Paige , Kevin Bacon and John Ashton . Review: While they aren't among the movies I normally watch on repeat, I did enjoy the first three Beverly Hills Cop movies and when I heard Eddie Murphy was going to reprise his Axel Foley role for one more, I was interested. My wife and I watched it on Netflix this evening and it was about what I was expecting it to be.  As I figured would be the case, the movie focuses primarily on nostalgia and h...

I came across Bellatoria's Sweetee-Pies a couple weeks ago while I was picking up a couple frozen pizzas for a quick dinner. They looked interesting and were on sale for $4.99 so I picked up the cinnamon streusel variety to give a try. It ended up staying in our freezer until last night, when I finally got around to making it and discovered it was pretty good. The product is as easy to make as a frozen pizza. You just pop it in the oven for about 12 minutes, let it cool for about 90 seconds then add the frosting. I whipped this up for my wife and me after dinner and it was ready to be eaten by the time she was done taking care of a few things before we sat down to watch TV. Taste wise, I had no complaints. There is plenty of cinnamon on the streusel, giving it a cinnamon-sugar taste that was sweet without being too sweet and the frosting just added to that. The streusel was also crisp without being too hard to chew, something I know my teeth preferred. These are somewhat small, but...

I was in the mood for bacon on Saturday morning and since I needed to go to the store anyway, picked some up. I hadn't tried the Smithfield Fully Cooked Bacon before, but it was less expensive than my normal brand by about 50 cents, so I gave it a try. I wasn't disappointed. I think the thing that surprised me most about this brand was, unlike many other pre-cooked bacon products that are out there, it didn't taste overly salty. Obviously, being bacon, there is going to be some salt in it but not to the point that was all I could taste. The bacon also came out crisp in the microwave when I heated it up, something that isn't always the case with products like this and only adds to the experience, at least in my opinion. Of course, it also helps that the bacon is somewhat crisp right out of the package too, which I enjoy because sometimes I just don't want to heat it up. As is also normally the case with bacon, this was a bit greasy when cooked. However, it wasn't...

 My wife had a photoshoot at a car show yesterday that turned out to be a bit of a bust, both because she was misled about getting paid and the photographer's camera stopped working. Since she looked pretty darned good, I convinced her to supplement the few photos that were taken by doing a short photoshoot in the backyard. Here are some of the photos I got. Model: Cynthia Helmer Camera: Kodak PIXPRO AZ-425